Tuesday, August 17, 2010

If It Walks Like a Duck

Time was when the names used to describe things most closely resembled their functions or at least had some basis in reason.
Even pithy names that might at first seem obscure would, upon closer examination become clear such as the so-called 'morning after pill' RU486. (Are you for 86 as in a short order cook's term for, "there ain't no more.")
The automobile is a word that can be broken down into its roots for simple meaning as an automatic machine for mobility.
But today we have gone away from truth in names especially in the wonderful World of the possible aka politics.
Groups such as Americans for Freedom espouse taking that freedom they so love away from people who don't agree with their views, many on religious grounds.
Other groups claim that they only wish to save marriage but they want to do it by sopping others from getting married.  If that particular group wins they may feel their oats and continue down the road toward more radical ideas and ideals.
For all we know they may even look to Shia law!  After all if someone other than yourself can determine who you cannot marry how much of a leap is it to their determining who you can?
Many of these activist groups have one thing in common, they are under the umbrella of the GOP.
And for that reason I believe we must hereby update the name of that grand old party.  I have a few suggestions that will not cause them to have to change their bath towels.  Care to vote for your favorite?

1 - Group Obstructing Progress (Duh)
2 - Gang Opposing Progress (Ditto)
3 - Good On Payback (To their owners)
4 - Gaga Over Palin (I just don't get this!)
5 - Grow Our Paychecks (In it for themselves!)
6 - God Over People (Not! Just pandering to religious fanatics)
7 - Good On Pandering (See above)
8 - Guys On Prozac (Or they should be)
9 - Get Oxy Please (Their boss Rush needs it)
10 - Give Obama Problems (Only till 2016)

The party represented by an elephant has a long memory.
They remember how they scared America to get into office in the past.  They continue to use the same tactics today and why not? You dance with the partner what brung ya!
As for the definitive name for the party of Palin; Grassly; Cheney; McConnell; Boehner etc. I cannot think of a more apropos one than that incorporating one of my favorite Yiddish words:
Group Of Putzes

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