Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Constant Struggle

Today’s news, all from the pages of Newsday.

911 Widow Wins Benefits.
Forget the actual story, what is important is that she had to win.
And against whom do you think she had to win?
She had to fight the insurance industry. Well actually not a new story but indicative of how they act and react when faced with the prospect of paying out on a policy they sold to the public who bought it and in good faith paid the premiums on.  And what goes unnoticed is it's now TEN YEARS after 911!

Some Long Islanders wrote letters, printed today railing against people who want the wealthy to pay more taxes.
These are average people who I assume do not make millions yet still fight the fight for the wealthy who, frankly wouldn't stop or stoop to close their eyes and place coins on them if they found their corpse in the gutter.
I don’t want the wealthy to pay too much, just their fair share and stop with the bullshit loopholes.

Among all his other crazy ideas such as calling for the death penalty for being gay Ron Paul is promising to eliminate the IRS if he wins the Presidency.
And just how will government run without any cash sir?
Oh I forgot, you don’t think government should run!
Can this tiny minded Anti-Semitic racist pig moron troll be more insane?

A new tactic on Long Island has turned up as thieves acting in pairs trick the elderly into letting them in to their homes by posing as new neighbors or electric company employees, etc. One chats with the owner and walks a little way away from the front door allowing his partner to gain entrance and rummage through the house undetected.
This is repulsive. Why can’t they rob and steal from the poor and middle class the honest way, they way most employers are doing it these days?
Business owners threaten unemployment or hint at it while demanding more hours and harder work in return for lower wages, less benefits and higher costs on health care.
They then reap the benefits of this nearly slave labor in excess profit and cry all the way to the bank about how business is down before heading out on another vacation.

A man had to sue his insurance company after he was forced to pay for a ‘well doctor’ visit that he was told would be fully covered.
I guess the agent who told him that had his fingers crossed behind his back!
According to the law, until the Republicans can repeal it insurance companies must fully cover ‘preventive care’ doctor visits and not even charge a co-pay unless something terrible is found and a procedure must be performed.
This tactic is the latest one by all insurance companies in their ongoing effort to totally screw the public.
No bill will be approved and no claim will be paid until and unless all possible avenues of obfuscation have been explored and the sheriff is at the door with a warrant to arrest the lying son of a bitch CEO with a separate subpoena for all of his records!

More letters in the paper from smokers who are angry at smoking bans.
HEY, in case you missed the news from a couple of decades ago SMOKING KILLS!
It kills the smoker which is fine but it also kills the innocent people around the smoker who inhale the vile second hand smoke.
And when the smoker uses the argument that there are other pollutants in the air so why only go after cigarettes the only possible answer is, WE’RE GOING AFTER ALL OF THEM YOU IDIOT! Now would you please going into a hermetically sealed room and light up!

And finally come the letters from those who are so angry at President Obama for ramming health care down their throats.
I almost do not know where to begin so I won’t.
But I would like to suggest that those people not opt in for any health care and then go out and smoke a few cartons of unfiltered cigarettes.
Then calmly drop dead somewhere not too close to an emergency room.
We wouldn’t want you to accidentally have health care rammed down your asinine throat!

I cannot wait for tomorrow's edition.
I need a drink!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Favorite Last Words - Hollywood Style

There’s an old one about a guy sent to jail where the inmates must work in the field all day and no talking is allowed.
Suddenly one guy jumps up and yells “49” and the field erupts in laughter.
Then another inmate pops up with, “72” and more laughs abound.
After five times the new guy leans over and asks his neighbor “what the hell’s going on.”
He’s told to wait.
That night the new guy us given a book of jokes and told to memorize them. “We can’t talk so we yell out the number of a joke and everyone remembers it and laughs.”
The next day exhausted from a lack of sleep our new guy waits his turn.
He hears “42” and laughter – “91” more laughter and then a lull.
He sees his chance so he jumps up and screams out “24!”
Not a sound.
He shakes his head and tries again. “24!!”
He looks at his neighbor who shrugs and says, “It’s your delivery!"

In that spirit I offer my favorite individual lines from some of the movies I’ve seen. It’s up to you to determine the movie and decide if you agree or not.
I hope my delivery suits your taste.

My Favorite last Movie Lines (not in any order):

Well, nobody’s perfect!

May God bless us everyone.

Eliza, where the devil are my slippers?

There’s no place like home!

As you wish.

Where we’re going we don’t need roads.

All right Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.

Twas beauty killed the beast.

This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Hey Stella!

(How do I make out the report captain?) Better make it ‘dead on arrival.’

That’s right, that’s right. Atta boy Clarence!

It’s the stuff dreams are made of.

They can’t lick us, we’ll go on forever, Pa cause we’re the people! (An original Occupy Group!)

Te adoro Anton

Mother will love it up here!!!

Captain, I just threw your stinking palm tree overboard. Now what’s all this crap about no movie?

This is your life Lillian Roth

Merry Christmas!

I now pronounce you men and wives.

Come back Shane.

Go proclaim liberty throughout all the lands and to the inhabitants thereof.

I loved you Julie. Know that I loved you.

He would be in Jem’s room all night and he’d be there when Jem waked in the morning. (One of the greatest movies ever!)

Love means never having to say you’re sorry. (One of the corniest movies ever!)

And in a very special way I lost Hermie forever.

Even the orchestra is beautiful.

Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you.

I’ll be right here!


Happy Birthday Sam, make a wish. (Pause) It already came true.

I think I’ll have a drink.

Hey, uh dad? Do you wanna have a catch? I’d like that.

I’m having an old friend for dinner. (Dr. Lecter – Dr. Lecter – Dr. Lecter ?)

I thought you didn’t care. I don’t. Don’t tell anyone.

Vanity, definitely my favorite sin!

Say friend, you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?

Good night you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

To boldly go where no man has gone before.


And now some non-last but still great lines many used every day!

Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn. (Tomorrow is another day.) {First ever million dollar movie}

Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. (Play Ball.)

YOU’RE NEXT! (Police talk about seed pods falling off a truck in an accident.)

Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me aren’t you? (Early in the film)

We’re going to need a bigger boat! (Come on, everyone knows this line!)

I could’ve been a contender! (I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.)

My daughter, my sister, my daughter, my sister, my daughter, my sister. (MAKE UP YOUR MIND!)

Get away from her you BITCH! (Final confrontation)

Open the pod bay doors please Hal. (Nearly the last line spoken by a live character in a film with a lot left!)

Excuse me while I whip this out. (One of my many favorite Mel Brooks lines, most of them of the ‘potty’ variety.)

No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die! (Early on in the 3rd 007 flick while Sean Connery – the real one & only James Bond is being tortured by Odd Job’s boss Goldfinger.)

Here’s Johnny! (So much scarier when Jack Nicholson said it to Shelley, Olive Oyl Duvall than when jolly old Ed McMahon said it to Johnny Carson.)

You want answers? - I want the truth! - YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (Whoa!)

Use the force, Luke!

We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!

If you build it he will come.

Beam me up Scotty!

Life's like a box of chocolate.

Live long & prosper.

You do know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow!

I’m the king of the world! (Or at least the box office!)

Pay no attention to the man behind that curtain.

They call me Mr. Tibbs!

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.

Play it again Sam (Never actually said but ‘when the legend becomes fact print the legend’ – Which is of course another great line from a John Wayne Jimmy Stewart western.)

I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Go ahead, make my day.

You talking to me? You talking to me?? I don't see anybody else here!!

In years to come when you speak of this, and you shall, be kind.

Here’s looking at you kid.

I'm walking here, I'm walking here!

To my big brother George, the richest man in town.

Show me the money.

Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?

E.T. phone home.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

 Attica  Attica!

Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!

I’ll have what she’s having.

Lah Di Dah.

I’ll be back.

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night.

I see dead people.

Rosebud (Belongs as the first line of the movie and the last word seen in the film.) The film was written by produced by directed by and starred a great man in film-dom with an incredible knack for a war of the words!

There’s no crying in baseball!

Wanna dance or would you like to suck face? 

Of course it’s hard. If it was easy everybody’d do it.

Hasta la vista, baby.

Are there no prisons, are there no workhouses?

Yo Adrian!

Is it safe? (My teeth always tingle when I hear that line.)

Nobody puts baby in a corner.


And for anyone who actually read this entire long piece of my personal favorites I have but one thing left to say:

My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my brother (variant) thanks you, And I thank you!

Anyone who does not know the movies attached to the quotes or the circumstances under which they were uttered leave a comment or tweet (@reschzoo) and I’ll be glad to fill you in. (Don’t google, that’s no fun.)

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Pessimistically Optimistic

Getting out of bed every morning is a little more painful each day. My back aches or my neck creeks or something hurts that didn’t the night before or shouldn’t no matter what.
My wife suggests we get a new mattress but I would prefer a new back!
Naturally that’s not covered in our world ruled by insurance companies and their puppets in government.
Those guys are the real pains although not necessarily in the back.
But I started thinking about how my life is generally ruled by costs when it comes to many things and in that way I guess I am normal.
(Me, normal? Nahhh!)
I don’t just buy the first new item that hits store shelves even if I want it or even need it. Like most others I tend to shop around or wait for coupons or some way to lower the cost before plunking down my hard earned cash.
And if you know me you also know my motto when it comes to discounts is, “30% off is still 70% on!”
So when I find a good price on something I also make a final determination of need.
I have become a slightly open-door closet pessimist in that I feel everything that can go right or wrong will tend to lean toward the latter first!
That philosophy is not as bad as it might sound since if you feel things will always go wrong you may occasionally be pleasantly surprised, although far less these days than you might believe.
I guess I have felt that way for a long time because in college I always expected a ‘D’ grade or worse so that when I got ‘C’ and above I was ecstatic!
Of course being a pessimist has its downside especially when you tend to be correct!
I mean if you think something bad is going to happen to you and then it does should you be happy and feel vindicated?
Using that logic I must be happy to have trouble rising in the morning.
But painful personal pessimism aside I would like to address our nation’s outlook on life as we know it.
More and more of our day to day lives is being ruled by that supposed bane of the Republican Party, big government. But contrary to their lip service mantra that is as it should be in a recession.
During hard times the people occupying the lower levels of the wage earning spectrum have more trouble making ends meet. Government programs such as unemployment insurance and free or low cost health care become life lines against financial ruin and even death.
But the problem is these people don’t tend to have a cohesive voice and definitely don’t have a powerful lobby through which to get their plights heard.
And thus they are an easy target for those in power to point to as financial drains on our economy.
Does anyone believe a Koch brother would offer a penny to save a sick poor man?
Alan Grayson famously put it more succinctly if in a less politically correct way with his “die quickly” label of the Republican healthcare plan.
But when the opposition to a fair policy for all Americans continues to chip away at every facet of our democratic ideals we the people are faced with a struggle beyond precedent.
We even lost an incredibly intelligent well spoken champion of all humans in the fight for fair and balanced health care when the Republican Party blocked President Obama’s appointment of Dr. Berwick as administrator of the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid.
Why you may ask would they do so?
Who is this awful terrorist wannabe that our leaders on the right feel must be booted out of existence?
Read about him – I cannot do this great man justice here.
Simple changes that go unnoticed have hidden agenda that turn out to be ways for the wealthy or big businesses to retain more profit at the expense of the individual.
For example the recent push to stop prostate screening for men until they have symptoms will negate the yearly PSA exams for millions. Proponents of stalling the test say it is a pain in the butt and could have false positives.
But a quick “light of day” exam of the motives of the proponents reveals a simple fact, the benefit to stopping those life saving blood tests goes directly into the pockets of the insurers.
Personally my first PSA exam was just as I hit 50 and lo and behold the discovery and subsequent treatment of what was found most likely saved my life.
Another huge savings of profit for the poor insurance industry is the lessening of mammogram frequencies.
What does the Republican Party have against women?
When the poor die due to a lack of quality health care they do so quietly. Their passing will not be announced as Breaking News on Fox. (This just in, a homeless and former Viet Nam veteran died outside the emergency room today saving tax payers thousands. Thanks Sarge! And now here’s Gretchen with other fun news.)
Naturally wealthy people pass away as well but if there is a ‘cure that money can buy’ rest assured they will not rest trying to find it before resting in peace!
One common thread in both of the above cases, insurance companies did not have to pay a penny.
Now all of these policy changes may be lumped under the heading of getting government out of your lives, making it less intrusive. Yet how does that square with the concurrent push for laws such as “personhood” which would allow the government to peer into a woman’s uterus at time of conception?
Zygotes of the fallopian tubes unite!
Clearly when it comes to the policy wishes of the Republican Party hypocrisy should be its middle name.
So why are so many average Americans still willing to vote for the phony party of family values? Why do so many voters tend to be masochists?
Remember, “What does a sadist do to a masochist – NOTHING!”
But in this case the sadistic tendencies of the ‘right’ are doing quite a bit to the electorate.
The middle class and poor have been used as wallets from which the wealthy and large corporations have dipped into as needed.
In order to get policies in place to help the majority of Americans it will take a touch less spending on foreign wars and defense as well as a bit more tax revenue overall.
Let’s see if we can help the lives and livelihood of the American voters as much as we appear to be trying to help the rest of the world. Don’t stop foreign aid but at least match it with the same fervor here.
And when it comes to taxes simple minded logic will say that a one dollar increase from three hundred million Americans should hurt less than a three hundred million increase from one guy! But anyone with a modicum of intelligence knows that percentages of wealth will show the fallacy in that thinking.
The pessimist in me feels I may never be able to rise out of bed totally pain free again but a tiny optimistic voice is wondering if I could cure the pain for less than a co-pay large enough to fund the CEO’s next vacation home.
Oh well, it look as though I’m in the market for a new mattress!