Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Iraq and a Coffee Mug

My son is about to graduate from college and he has his whole life ahead of him. That, however does not stop the U. S. Army from sending him JUNK mail trying to fool him into joining, thus shortening that life. You know, the old join the U. S. Army and see the world crap?

This time the junk mail came with an incentive. If he returns the post card filled with all his personal information the army will send him a free U. S. Army mug - suitable to be used as an urn to hold his ashes.

My first son can think of going after first daughters Jenna and Barbara go!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A Crime is a Crime

Another crime was narrowly diverted yesterday at the Islip courthouse. The culprits were not jailed but did receive well deserved fines and were escorted from the premises by police officers who threatened further action if the two did not cooperate. As it turns out the common criminals did do as they were told and the crowd of protesters who lined the streets were mostly on their side as they were led out of the courthouse and off the premises.
The policemen were only doing their jobs and should be commended for doing so without any violent aftermath. The criminals will most likely try their crime again and one can only hope that the officers will be up to the task whenever that takes place in the future. Society must be kept safe from such a dastardly crime as was contemplated by these evil men.
Oh, I forgot to mention their crime. They were sitting in the courthouse attempting to get a marriage license. You see the dangerous criminals are two quiet unassuming gay men who only wish to live together as any other couple in love would do.
PS – By current estimates, while the police were escorting these men out of the Islip courthouse at least a dozen robberies, four or five aggravated assaults and twenty or so vehicular moving violations were taking place elsewhere. But our society surely has its priorities set, right?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Headline News – And the Back Story - April '08

In our sound bite world most of us have neither the time nor the inclination to delve deeply into a subject. We have lost the desire to get all the facts. The news media people know that and feed us little more than the headlines to whet our appetites and get us to stay tuned through the commercials to hear the story. With that in mind here is an excerpt of the past few days’ worth of headlines and a tiny read into them. Should any of the stories strike you as newsworthy or of further inspection I truly hope you will do so and not let the media decide for you what is or is not important. The stories are listed by number for anyone to just get the headlines. The numbers then correspond to a fuller story at the end of the article.


1. Cops acquitted in Sean Bell case – Sharpton apalled.
2. NYS tax break on gas this summer – 32¢ off per gallon is a gift – Middle class saved.
3. Thruway tolls to rise after opposition complaints ignored. And their point?
4. Nassau attorney’s pension suspended. He was getting over $100,000 per year FOR NOTHING.
5. Home builder faces jail and tremendous fines for using illegal aliens as carpenters and paying them off the books. What an evil-doer!
6. Drill on Long Island prepares us for dirty bomb attack. We are finally safe from Osama.
7. Two publishing world giants are fighting to takeover Newsday, one of the largest regional newspapers in the country. Who will win?

If you believe in the media and think they are on your side then please stop here. If you realize that they don't give a damn about you and only wish to continue their hold on your soon to be mush brains then read on!


1. The 3 NYC policemen who were on trial for using excessive force in a supposed unwarranted manner by firing 50 bullets at Sean Bell and his bachelor party friends were acquitted this week when the judge claimed that the prosecution could not prove the case. The witnesses were inconsistent and their stories did not even match each other. In the end the policemen, who were racially mixed were set free. They expressed their emotions and proclaimed their sorrow at the outcome of the event that caused the trial. Although they were not all White supposed part-time reverend and full time activist Al Sharpton who is constantly looking for a cause to promote himself nearly had an orgasm when he heard the verdict. Did I say he was apalled? No way! This scumbag jumped all over the story and put himself in the spotlight once again. To continue and repeat what this asshole said is both useless and idiotic so I won’t. If you really need to know the moron’s message ‘google’ the idiot.

2. The money will be stolen elsewhere. Let’s face it this is the height of sleight of hand routines that our government, both local and national performs on a daily basis. They decided long ago that they want to make more money every second of their public life and what better way to do so than to steal it a little at a time from every tax payer in their jurisdiction? If you take a measly $1 from every many woman and child in a state of eight million people you don’t really hurt them individually but you get eight million dollars. The problem is there are currently a thousand or so such governmental thieves with their hands in our pockets and suddenly we are all going broke! New York State has a budget and they will get the money they say they need from us whether or not it comes in the form of a gas tax or an increased property tax or a raise on the frimmel tax (I made that one up but wait…)

3. And as if on cue, the NYS Thruway has decided to raise the tolls. Naturally they had to allow the opposition to argue against it and naturally they did not listen. Unfortunately once the increase is in place they will be starting from that new base as a floor from which to raise it further when they need vacation money. (Vacation from what???)

4. But why would you suspend someone’s pension? Surely it is not fair to take away hard earned money after a promise to allow him retirement money. The problem is he was never an employee, just an independent contractor who had no right to be on a pension in the first place! Albert D’Agostino had collected almost eight hundred thousand of our public dollars in a fraudulently devised scheme of friendly deflect and grab since ‘retiring’ October 2000. He was also getting healthcare benefits, something you and I pay through the nose to get for free. That was another eighty three thousand stolen dollars. Think this is an isolated case? If you do you are the government’s best friend and deserving of pity. Think not? Then delve and complain.

5. This simple straight forward story deserves a closer look. The man is not an angel but he did break a written and an unwritten law by not giving the government a cut on his profits. Don’t think so? He tried for 3 years to get his workers ‘green cards’ so that they would be legal. Perhaps he didn’t try hard enough? He spent seventy thousand dollars trying to do so! Without sounding like a cliché broken record the aliens were doing work that others, presumable Americans did not wish to do. And he faces charges not for hiring the workers but for NOT PAYING THE TAXES/KICK BACK TO THE GOVERNMENT. He will be going to jail for non-payment of taxes on the illegal aliens, not the hiring thereof. Translation, if he had paid the small minded greed mongering officials a cut they would have continued to look the other way.

6. Get the duct tape and be ready to duck under your desks! In a continuation of the colored terror attack scenario we have to be constantly reminded about the ever present danger of attack. We also have to be reminded that our elected officials are not as useless as we all finally realize they are. The same group that brought you the open door policies of our borders and the near strip search ridiculous screening at the airports are trying to put you at ease by reminding you that you are constantly under threat of a terrorist strike. It is the same mentality that has police walking around the train stations with drug sniffing dogs asking random travelers to open their backpacks. If anyone really thinks this will protect us from attack please contact me about my land off the coast of Florida and a bridge I own in Arizona.

7. Sleaze king Mort Zuckerman who currently owns and operates the incredibly low class rag known as the NY Post which is only good for its sports coverage and Scumbag Rupert Murdoch, the right-wing megalomaniac who currently owns everything else, or so it seems are in a bidding war over the paper. Murdoch needs to have every word printed or heard on this Earth come through his disgusting mouth or mind. His Fox Network currently sports as its favorite son the unbelievably idiotic moron Bill O’Reilly as one of its headliners. I could run down a list of the other contributors to his so-called news network but you would need an air-sickness bag to read it with names such as Hannity & Colmes and the obnoxious, brainless, and pompous Brit Hume. This is truly a battle with us the public as the loser. I pine for the good old days when our government gave a shit about our welfare and would never allow monopolies such as the one Murdoch has amassed to exist. There used to be laws against the ownership by one man or company of too many different public information media sources but alas Murdoch IS the government, or at least he bought them.
And in case anyone out there is interested I will be canceling my subscription to the newspaper if either of the two bastards win.

Friday, April 25, 2008

We are Saved!

Word has just come down from Washington that our fearless, brainless leader is happy with the economy. And he is certain that even though it does not need help it will be further stimulated when the tax rebates being sent out this week are received!
The President was going to make the annoucement on the steps of Capitol Building but he ran out of gas and no one had enough cash for a fill-up.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Oil for Breakfast?

Like the title? Sounds appetizing, doesn't it? Well this idea comes by way of an old friend.
What if I told you that we can temporarily cure our energy problems and lower our cost for gasoline at the same time? No I am not suggesting that we lynch Dick Cheney and make him give back the billions he and his cronies have stolen by way of a strategic war for personal gain. Although...
No, before we do that and a few other ideas I have about retribution (Condi; Karl; Georgie how about this?
We Americans have been paying more for EVERYTHING but the only ones making more money are the already rich. Costs have risen so high as to be ridiculous. Bagels are becoming out of reach, not to mention the cream cheese and milk that goes with your breakfast. And speaking of breakfast have you noticed the price of cereals lately? Anything with wheat in it is through the roof.
Wanna know why? Huh, do ya?
Well our geniuses in DC have a great idea about how to make personal money and keep their friends in the turbans and bathrobes happy. Free trade and I mean free. We or rather they are subsidizing the sales of wheat to our Arab oppressors. By allowing big business to sell our precious commodities, and we have so few left, overseas without regard to our well being the so-called free trade policy is costing us money and global standing as well as jobs.
The Arab countries do not produce wheat. But we allow them to purchase ours at a fair price. But not quite the same fair price they allow us to purchase oil, right?
If our leaders (leaders? that’s a joke!) would just get their heads out of their collective assholes they would stop this travesty immediately.
Starting tomorrow the price for our grain is hereby linked to the price of a barrel of oil. The scum of the Earth Saudis and their Arab brethren (and I again include Cheney) wish to charge $120 for a barrel of oil? (It hit that price yesterday.)
Fine, we charge them $120 for a bushel of wheat, and that ain’t hey.
But first we finally take care of our own, something our government has not done since Diebold and the Supreme Court stole that first election back in 2000. Hold on to enough grain to feed Americans and allow the EXCESS to be sold overseas at oil-like prices.
And stop with the Ethanol experiment. It does not make sense to use food, which is becoming all too scarce these days to try and find a way to continue to make our combustion engines spew pollution into the atmosphere! For once and for all tell the automobile companies that they either open up their vaults to all those ideas they have been buying up to hide from us or we put them out of business and maybe even throw the CEOs in jail. (See “Who Killed the Electric Car” to understand fully the meaning of big business and greed. Here is a small example of the film -
We have to come up with a way to stop our tremendous dependence on not just foreign oil but all oil. And we cannot afford to wait for Exxon to come up with a way to do so that keeps their pockets full.
In other words let’s stop allowing the bastards to pull the wool over our eyes and start demanding results. Our incredibly intelligent scientists must figure out how to use Solar Energy; Wind Power; Tidal Power; Plug-in hybrids and Fuel Cell technology soon or breakfast prices will be our least worry.
And even if we do wean ourselves off oil I say we continue to charge the Arabs $120 per bushel of wheat and index it by 10% every year. Who knows, in twenty years we might actually be able to buy back our country from China.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Pope Pooped.

It's time to offend again.
Not me mind you, the media! Although I am sure that when I'm finished many of you will be offended at me as well. I am actually directing this rant toward the media and their mis-guided need to pander and control what we see and hear. So let me get right to the point.
My heritage and tradition is Jewish but my religion in the normally accepted sense of the word is none. That does not mean I am not offended when the Jewish religion is attacked. I even get upset when many other so-called religions are attacked (not all, but many) for no reason other than their beliefs are different from the attacker.
It also means that I visit friends and family during the Jewish holidays and even follow many of the traditional rules of the religion such as fasting on the highest Holy day of Yom Kippur. (I always thought it funny that a day on which you were not supposed to eat was called YUM.)
But I digress.
My point is that I do not impose my religion or the lack thereof on anyone else so I am terribly offended when I turn on the news these days or open a newspaper and am confronted with tremendously large photos and articles and stories of the poop, I mean pope. I did not capitalize the word on purpose.
Enough already! One might think this guy is as important as Terri Schaivo or Paris Hilton and former BFF Brittney Spears.
Who the HELL is this mortal who has somehow become the most important being in the universe and why the HELL should I care what he does?
Although for the weeks leading up to his visit to America and certainly during his stay here crime appears to have stopped, at leaast according to the media. A MIRACLE.
There have been no tragedies, at least according to the media. A MIRACLE.
In fact there have been no reports of anything bad happening anywhere in the world since the pope has come to town, again at least according tot he media. Maybe we should ask this former member of the Hitler Youth (he was a teenager) to stay here for surely it is a good thing. Or is it just that we are not allowed to think about anything else but the pope during his visit?
HE IS NOT MY FATHER AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT THINK OF THIS ELECTED FIGURE AS HOLY. Not when he and his cronies sent around notices to the flock that they must keep the scandalous behavior of their 'little boy loving' priests a secret until the statute of limitations runs out.
Yeah, right holy as in HOLY SHIT!
The only class this organization was afraid of was the class in a class action lawsuit.
When one man is found to be a practicing pedophile he is arrested and shamed.
When one small group of men following the leader is found to be the same they are branded a cult and are shamed as in Texas, the home of our inept moron president.
But when several thousands do it for years and years and hide it by moving to different cities they are called the Catholic Church.
Granted the small number of bad apples must not be misconstrued as the entire orchard but when the CEO of the organization chooses to cover it up you know it will blow up in his face sooner or later. Just ask those wonderful people who brought you ENRON.
I cannot figure out what caused these repressed men who are not allowed to marry or have sex with women and remain celibate for the remaining vital years of their sexual life to want to find a release with an innocent young AVAILABLE little boy. Perhaps the premise itself is flawed.
Either way if the pope really wants to be holy and rule over a holy empire he should do as it says in the Bible, (Luke 4:23) "And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in Capernaum, do also here in thy country."

Monday, April 14, 2008

My Dad's 90th Birthday Party

My dad turned 90 on April 5th and a week later we threw him a small party at the Milleridge Inn in Jericho, NY. I may add more commentary soon but for now I would like to merely post my speech and add a link to the photos I took at the party. I hope you like both but if not, tough. Throw your own 90th birthday party.
And now the speech:
Conceived in 1917; born in 1918 birth came to these two nonagenarians within one week of each other. On March 31st of that year Daylight Savings Time was introduced by an act of congress. A greater act began five days later when Sol Resch was born. That’s right; Sol is as old as Daylight Savings. But unlike that twice a year pain in the neck for the Tourneau stores Sol grew up to do his springing ahead and falling back on the dance floor. With moves like Fred Astaire and hair like Red Buttons he translated his love using his own Rosetta stone, Rosetta Press and took her to the altar thus altering all of our lives forever.
While Sol was in diapers, they did have diapers back then, right dad, the world was at war. President Woodrow Wilson saw this war to end all wars, at least until the next one, and the next one finally end later that year.
Income was low in 1918 as was unemployment. But that last number increased dramatically during Sol’s teen years. Luckily FDR and WWII helped our economy out of the doldrums.
It was just before the birth of his first son, the much older son Robert Henry that the Japanese decided to pay a visit to Hawaii. Thus beginning a tradition continued to this day although with less malice and far more cash. As did all good men, Sol came to the aid of the party and enlisted in the Navy. Starting in the Brooklyn Navy Yard Sol soon set sail for the South Pacific. He was essential to the war effort as a machinist’s mate second class on the USS Tutuiler. Sailing the South Pacific Sol’s team repaired U S warships in need and was necessary indeed. He also played a mean violin in the ship’s band. I have pictures!
After winning the war he returned home to double his offspring vowing to get it right this time. And as with anything Sol put his mind to – this time he did.
Sol worked as a sales manager for two companies for many years. He was the main cog in what was once a great American textile industry, before we ironically shipped it to Asia.
I have yet to meet anyone who did not think Sol was the nicest, most honorable person in the industry. His motto was, “If we cannot be friends we cannot do business.” And Sol did more business than anyone ever did and single-handedly kept one company, Marvin Fabrics afloat for 58 years. He was also a key player for Hauptman Feather, a company that is still around thanks to the efforts of nephew Hank.
Retiring after 58 years he did not let the grass grow under his feet. Well living in a co-op there really isn’t that much grass anyway but you get the picture.
Having lost Rose his lovely wife of 45 years way too early he turned his affection toward long time friend Ditty Sylvia Camras herself a widow having lost her husband coincidently named Marvin many years earlier. Sol turned his business drive toward fundraising and volunteer work for Jewish War Veterans. Working tirelessly for veteran rights he has been a fixture at the St. Albans Veterans facility every Wednesday bringing food and smiles and whatever it takes to help the disabled vets. He has even driven them to services on special holidays. Sol holds the national record for fundraising and is Grant Chairman for the Queens County Jewish War Veterans & Commander of the Jackson Heights Legion of War Veterans Post #209. He has been honored by many including politicians with whom he often confers - and movers and shakers such as NY Mets owner Fred Wilpon from whom he secured a donation - and a player to be named later!
Did I say he retired?
This man did not retire nor should he.
We need him.
Through thick and thin he was and is a man for all seasons.
We honor him tonight with our celebration but truly he honors us with his presence.
I give you my dad, Sol Resch.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Sports and the Gambling Refs!!!

I know it will seem like a biased piece but so what, it's my blog and I'll rant if I want to, rant if I want to, rant if I want to. You would rant too if it happened to you! (Sorry Leslie.)

I watched two games this weekend, the Mets against Atlanta in baseball and the Rangers against the Devils in hockey. Both games featured calls that should, if it really mattered cause the ref or umpire who made the call to be barred for life from their respective game and even investigated for gambling and other crimes.

In the Mets game with bases loaded and nobody out the Mets were losing to the hated Atlanta Braves and thier cadre of "in the pocket" umpires by 3 runs. A short fly ball to center dropped in and two runs would score and a rally would be under way. But wait, this is Atlanta and everyone knows they are good so the umpire called the fly ball single an out and even a double play when one of the runners who saw the ball drop in was caught off base. A long argument ensued and when the corrupt umpire realized that the replay would show his ridiculously bought and paid for call as a clear as day bull shit call he reversed his decision. BUT he only allowed the Mets one run instead of the two that surely would have scored had he been a legitimate employee and not a gambling umpire and the rally was effectively over. The Mets lost the game failing to go ahead in the inning and the umpire collected his pay, secure in the knowledge that noone would ever find out he was in the pocket of the Braves.

In the hockey game that appeared to be important between the New York Rangers and the home New Jersey Devils the game was tied late in the third period. The Rangers needed a win in regulation time to go ahead of the Devils and get home ice advantage over, you guessed it, the Devils in the playoffs. A devil skater shot the puck from his ice out of the rink to avoid Rangers pressure with around 4 minutes left in the game. This is by rule a penalty and the Rangers would have a golden chance to win the game. However the 3 referees and umpires officiating the game chose not to call the obvious penalty against the home team and let the game continue. Seconds later a Ranger player was called for a penalty against the skater who got the puck that had left the ice area. In effect the Rangers were penalized for the infraction by the Devils.Will either of these obviously corrupt or in the very least inept refs be punished?

Do pigs fly?

There will be no action against these men and their bookies count on it.

Several years ago the New York Giants in football failed to get into the playoffs because a corrupt gambling ref mad a ridiculously obvious bad call. The Giant fans were audibly upset but to no avail as the hated "Americas Team" (Crock of shit) Dallas Cowboys enjoyed another playoff run and the New York Team went home to lick their wounds. It made the back page headlines but so what? It wasn't until several months after the season ended that a tiny article way back in the double digit pages of the paper announed that a football ref was indited for gambling that Giant fans realized they were scammed and the Dallas Cowboys had used their money wisely. Did anything change? Of course not.

When will professional sports realize their problem and get rid of these piece of shit phoneys?

Obviously never. The fans are the only ones who can make them change. Demand that refs and umps be vetted out and any obvious bullshit calls be investigated. If criminal charges should be brought do so and make the games that reap so much money as to be obscene at least be played on a level and fair playing field!

For anyone who likes their sports
Their friends and all their cohorts
We must all try to dump
A corrupt evil ump
They’re like pimples and real ugly warts.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Protect Me Please (Rated R)

The current system of rating movies is arguably absurd but usually helpful in a sort of comparison way. We know that an "X" rated film is more sexually explicit than an "R" rated film. (Unfortunately that may actually increase its audience in some circles.)
But the MPAA may be going a bit too far now. A new film just out, "My Blueberry Nights" starring such terrible role models as Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Norah Jones is noted as PG13 with the following small print associated with the rating:
This movie may contain “Mature thematic material including violence, drinking and smoking.”
Whoa! Did you say they may be drinking and smoking???
No way!
Soon we will have to also include such phrases as, “Beware, this film includes oral breathing by mouth and lecherous stares possibly symbolizing untoward thoughts.”
I fear the day when they add up the so-called bad points in a sort of naughty tally and decide which films will be allowed to be shown in theaters at all.
This sytem may be called a Tally Ban.

Skewed News

The major headline news today proclaimed that the Clintons have more money than the Obamas. And supposedly this fact will make it harder for Senator Clinton to win the Pennsylvania primary because the voters there are very concerned about job loss and the middle class being hurt by the economy. If you feel that the last sentence makes no sense bravo, you are intelligent enough to see past the bias in the media against Hillary Clinton and in favor of the “Phenomenon” that is known as Barry-Barack Obama.
Is the headline the whole story? Does this fact deserve to change the voting? How would Senator Clinton be at a barbeque? Would you rather have a poor homeless person with no idea how to manage money as your next President? I am not saying that Senator Obama is poor or homeless, far from it but I am pointing out that it should not be a point against someone because they were able to make money.
It is all in the way you emphasize the facts involved. Since the media is deciding which stories to print or publicize don’t they have an obligation to do so fairly?
Many years ago the then latest movie in the James Bond series, “Goldfinger” opened across the country. According to a first hand account from my brother the marquee at a theater in Seattle Washington proclaimed for the entire world to see that the currently running feature film was:
GOLDFINGERStarring Sean Connery as James Bond – with Honor Blackman as PUSSY GALORE
The article in today’s Newsday is typical of that kind of ‘gotcha’ journalism that has pervaded our lives. Many articles and news stories in America these days that purport to give the whole story are actually fact deficient one-sided sensationalized stupidity skewed toward the view the writer wants you to hear and only that view.
If you actually read the entire article, something most people do not seem to do these days, you might find the other side of the story. And that side is equally as important as and far more damaging to a different candidate.
Near the end of the story that is masquerading as breaking news are two tidbits about the average salaries of all the US Senators and some of their charitable donations. The Clinton family is actually quite low on the scale of Senatorial salary, as are the Obamas but quietly the Clintons gave a far greater percentage of their income to charity than most others. They easily donated a much greater percentage of their income than did the Senator from Chicago who claims to be for workers rights.
One other point is the timing of an article. As with the Bush administration and their timely leaking of any story of so-called National Security every time they needed to cover something up this story comes at a critical point in the Democratic campaign. Obama's campaign manager, David Plouffe is this year's Karl Rove and he is unbeleivably good. He has long sought to reveal the Clinton money and this story reeks of the smell of the Obama camp. Their desire for a knockout punch in the bout against Clinton and the media's willingness to second his wishes speak volumes.
Once again the media is putting the em-PHA-sis on the wrong syl-La-ble.
Sometimes HEAD-line News should actually be called by a different body part!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Words and phrases that mean Bull Shit:

Money is no object.
If it was no object why do you object so much? And why even bring it up?

Of course I’ll respect you in the morning.
Does this one really need an explanation?

Read My Lips

Four out of five doctors recommend:
And just who are these guys? Doctor of philosophy? Rodney Dangerfield’s Dr. – Dr. Vinny Goombotz etc.? And what does the fifth guy know that we don't?

We will match any competitor’s price!
Except as noted in the small print. There is a list of companies considered competitors and you will find that they are all in Botswana.

If you are not satisfied with our product we will double your order at no charge!

If you work hard you will see something in your pay envelope.
The picture of your replacement in India who’s working a little harder for one tenth your soon to be gone salary.

Companies, groups and individuals that flip you off and say Bull Shit just by existing:
Exxon/Mobil (And all of the oil companies)
Large banks and mortgage lenders
Most investment houses – Bear Sterns etc.
Companies such as Enron – None left you say?
LIPA (suction)
Keyspan (Now owned by Great Britain!)
Cable Companies
AT&T and friends (Just how much does it cost them when you send a text message? How much do they charge you and the person you send it to?)
Dick Cheney

Some phrases take time to smell.

Our mortgages start out at a low introductory rate.
And then help the country out of the National Debt.

This product comes with a limited warranty.
Anything that breaks is not covered.

You’re in good hands with…
And you can guess where their hands are.

And finally:
Anything said by a candidate for office.