Thursday, July 1, 2010

Math Bites the Dust

"Okay class if Alex has two apples and Mary has three apples who has more?"
"Ooh, pick me, teacher, pick me."
"Ah, is that little Johnny Boehner?  Okay Johnny who has more apples?"
"Well, teacher the obvious answer is not actually the right one because technically the term more is a function of a numbers game that my opponents love to push which amounts to nothing but a sleight of hand.
I mean we all know that you cannot have your cake and eat it too, right?
Of course that's right so just because one person who may have come to have a higher number of said objects through some shady deal or two in the past is holding a majority of items it does not generally mean they have more!  In this case perhaps Alex had another apple or two but chose to eat them.  Then does he still retain that extra amount in the count since it is, for the moment still within his system?
So you see, teacher it is not black and white.
And in fact I happen to know that Mary is an illegal alien and the apples in her possession were not purchased by her in this country.
So now that you understand all the facts the answer is clearly Alex!  Alex with two apples has more than Mary with three!"

The above is not far fetched at all.  In fact it is playing out each and every day in Congress.
The Republican Party of NO lost the majority of the apples in the last election but for some reason seem to have control of the entire orchard!
Why has it has taken the Democrats almost two years to start calling these obstructionists out on their anti-American tactics?
A magician plies his trade by using the old misdirect.  He makes a flair movement of his left hand to gather your attention while slipping something in or out of his pocket with his right hand.
The Republicans have been magically misdirecting the public's view ever since that Kenyan took control of the White House and started converting America into a socialistic welfare state and made our country unsafe and open to attack by every known terrorist this side of Genghis Khan.

But say you were from another world and you landed on our shores during the last few years with a mission to observe our culture and report home.  You would watch what was happening sadly but with humored interest.
When you returned to your homeland you would report that America was in dire need of:
Financial reform to make sure the wealthy do not continue to wreck the economy of the land with their rampant unchecked greed;
A clear division between special interest groups and the governing houses of the land so as to not allow the few with the most to continue to gain more on the backs of the citizenry;
Health care reform to ensure that the current generation and generations as yet unborn are cared for and thus able to move forward into the future as a strong productive nation;
Leaders who do not purposely lie to the public just to promote some self-serving agenda;
Some form of intelligence when it comes to laws concerning weapons for the masses so that the current trend of an AK47 in every home and two tons of ammo in every garage does not continue;
A plan to implement alternative energy production so that one group of dangerous foreign nationals are not in control of their power needs for the present and the future;
A clear set of regulations as set forth by a non confrontational governing board of grown-ups to stop imminent man-made disasters before they happen but have procedures set to fix them when and if the unforeseeable does.

You would be greeted by leaders of your world with an incredulous look.
"You mean to say they have survived for over 2,000 of their years without these?  How uncivilized is this world?"
Your only answer would have to be one of resigned agreement that they have not yet fully emerged from the dark ages.

Both sides of Congress have been guilty of many wrongs in the past and pointing back to all of them would be considered counterproductive at best.  Our need to learn from the mistakes of the past is real but the obsession of pointing out the other guy's failings at every turn is not.
The Hatfield - McCoy feud teaches us that after a while the cause of the fight no longer matters as long as the fight continues!
This is America and thanks to Johnny Appleseed there are plenty of apples to go around!
Oh, and for those Republicans out there who may have accidentally landed on this blog THE CORRECT ANSWER IS MARY!

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