I am not feeling well today. I have a bad head cold and a cough and a throbbing ache on the left side of my neck, back and head. I feel awful but that does not seem to be enough to explain my condition. We seem to have a need to use analogies to explain that which is straight forward.
When I was at work the other day I was chided for not staying home. People looked at me and backed off a bit. They are afraid of catching whatever it is I have.
Enough of the, and my wife told me to stay home that I finally gave in as I attempt to ‘rid by rest’ this bug in me.
So while resting I began to replay all the things that were said to and about me and I started to make a list of the ways in which my painful and annoying yet simple (hopefully) head cold has been described. (You may add your experiences if you like.)
You look like Hell. (Not knowing what that meant I checked out my reflection and had to agree.)
You look like shit. (Funny, I feel like shit also.)
You sound like shit. (When I called in to say I would not be in.) And just exactly how does that sound? Don’t answer please.
Hey Rudolph. (A very silly crack about my nose after a sneezing fit.)
You look like death warmed over. (Is that worse than regular death?)
I was treated by some as a leper.
Someone even made the sign of the Cross with their fingers as though I was a vampire. Of course that sign would not work on me anyway, I’m Jewish.
I guess the nicest term was used by my wife who merely said, “You look awful.”
Thanks sweetheart. I love you too.
It feels as though a corset
Is tightening my neck
And my nose is like a faucet
Always running, I’m a wreck
My eyes are tearing
When I sneeze
Head is pounding
When I wheeze
A tiny bug has got me down
I wish it would get out of town
With all the pills that I have taken
Why have I been thus forsaken?