Friday, January 20, 2012

Republican Music 2012

With one debate after another this season of the Republican Primary has turned into a mass of blurry BS sprinkled with hypocritical hogwash aimed at bamboozling enough un and under educated voters as possible.
Sadly it has worked so far as the candidates who have dropped out of the race are not much worse than the ones remaining.
None of us are without faults but most of us don't lie for a living. Well I just lost any trial lawyers who read my blog.
As human beings many if not all of us have trouble remembering all the facts.
But it is equally true that when long pieces of information or soliloquies are put to music or placed in pleasing rhyme schemes they may become, well, memorable.
I was never in a Shakespeare play nor did I commit any of his works to memory but I can recite the "tomorrow and tomorrow..." piece as well as anyone this side of Richard Burton and friends.
So for the aid and assistance of those of you who's eyes have blurred and ears are aching listening to the phony rhetoric spewing from both sides of the mouths of the Republican Presidential hopefuls I offer four simple poetic (I hope) explanations of their character.
In no special order I give you:

The Song of Romney

I know I was flawed as my bank account soared
But don't expect a straight answer!
I made money hand over fist
And you who have clawed
To pay your room and board
Are surely at me quite pissed

But vote for me now and I'll show you how
To make all your small dreams come true
And this I here vow
if my fortune you allow
Past the tax code unscathed to sneak through

Hey Abbot
Newt's Plaint

I know I was harsh on old Bill
When his Presidency I tried to kill
Sure I too had a fling
But I gave her a ring
And next time and again I will!

Let me think - NOT GOV'TS JOB!
Ron Paul Bearer's Wish

Like Humpty upon his great wall
Should any of our poor people fall
If bones they do break
To the hospital take
Their own money, not mine AT ALL!

And finally:

Please God No!
Notes from the Inner Santorum

A woman's body's her temple
To be worshipped and honored and such
And all must follow MY example
Before marriage you never may touch

As for fetus and zygote and sperm
Between Bible and life there's no chasm
Presidents must decide for their term
When and where you may have your orgasm!

I hope these little ditties make it easier for all voters when they pull that important lever come November.  America's future rests in their hand heaven help us!

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