Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Words and phrases that mean Bull Shit:

Money is no object.
If it was no object why do you object so much? And why even bring it up?

Of course I’ll respect you in the morning.
Does this one really need an explanation?

Read My Lips
Classic!

Four out of five doctors recommend:
And just who are these guys? Doctor of philosophy? Rodney Dangerfield’s Dr. – Dr. Vinny Goombotz etc.? And what does the fifth guy know that we don't?

We will match any competitor’s price!
Except as noted in the small print. There is a list of companies considered competitors and you will find that they are all in Botswana.

If you are not satisfied with our product we will double your order at no charge!
BUT IF I DID NOT LIKE ONE OF THEM WHY WOULD I WANT TWO?

If you work hard you will see something in your pay envelope.
The picture of your replacement in India who’s working a little harder for one tenth your soon to be gone salary.

Companies, groups and individuals that flip you off and say Bull Shit just by existing:
Exxon/Mobil (And all of the oil companies)
Large banks and mortgage lenders
Most investment houses – Bear Sterns etc.
Companies such as Enron – None left you say?
LIPA (suction)
Keyspan (Now owned by Great Britain!)
Cable Companies
AT&T and friends (Just how much does it cost them when you send a text message? How much do they charge you and the person you send it to?)
Dick Cheney

Some phrases take time to smell.

Our mortgages start out at a low introductory rate.
And then help the country out of the National Debt.

This product comes with a limited warranty.
Anything that breaks is not covered.

You’re in good hands with…
And you can guess where their hands are.

And finally:
Anything said by a candidate for office.

3 comments:

train buddy said...

What no april fools jokes?

mug guy said...

Why bother with April Fools jokes when we ahve the current administration and the group trying to replace them? We have April Fool's all year 'round.

train budy said...

So true. r u on the 4:57 2night