Sunday, April 20, 2008

Pope Pooped.

It's time to offend again.
Not me mind you, the media! Although I am sure that when I'm finished many of you will be offended at me as well. I am actually directing this rant toward the media and their mis-guided need to pander and control what we see and hear. So let me get right to the point.
My heritage and tradition is Jewish but my religion in the normally accepted sense of the word is none. That does not mean I am not offended when the Jewish religion is attacked. I even get upset when many other so-called religions are attacked (not all, but many) for no reason other than their beliefs are different from the attacker.
It also means that I visit friends and family during the Jewish holidays and even follow many of the traditional rules of the religion such as fasting on the highest Holy day of Yom Kippur. (I always thought it funny that a day on which you were not supposed to eat was called YUM.)
But I digress.
My point is that I do not impose my religion or the lack thereof on anyone else so I am terribly offended when I turn on the news these days or open a newspaper and am confronted with tremendously large photos and articles and stories of the poop, I mean pope. I did not capitalize the word on purpose.
Enough already! One might think this guy is as important as Terri Schaivo or Paris Hilton and former BFF Brittney Spears.
Who the HELL is this mortal who has somehow become the most important being in the universe and why the HELL should I care what he does?
Although for the weeks leading up to his visit to America and certainly during his stay here crime appears to have stopped, at leaast according to the media. A MIRACLE.
There have been no tragedies, at least according to the media. A MIRACLE.
In fact there have been no reports of anything bad happening anywhere in the world since the pope has come to town, again at least according tot he media. Maybe we should ask this former member of the Hitler Youth (he was a teenager) to stay here for surely it is a good thing. Or is it just that we are not allowed to think about anything else but the pope during his visit?
HE IS NOT MY FATHER AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT THINK OF THIS ELECTED FIGURE AS HOLY. Not when he and his cronies sent around notices to the flock that they must keep the scandalous behavior of their 'little boy loving' priests a secret until the statute of limitations runs out.
Yeah, right holy as in HOLY SHIT!
The only class this organization was afraid of was the class in a class action lawsuit.
When one man is found to be a practicing pedophile he is arrested and shamed.
When one small group of men following the leader is found to be the same they are branded a cult and are shamed as in Texas, the home of our inept moron president.
But when several thousands do it for years and years and hide it by moving to different cities they are called the Catholic Church.
Granted the small number of bad apples must not be misconstrued as the entire orchard but when the CEO of the organization chooses to cover it up you know it will blow up in his face sooner or later. Just ask those wonderful people who brought you ENRON.
I cannot figure out what caused these repressed men who are not allowed to marry or have sex with women and remain celibate for the remaining vital years of their sexual life to want to find a release with an innocent young AVAILABLE little boy. Perhaps the premise itself is flawed.
Either way if the pope really wants to be holy and rule over a holy empire he should do as it says in the Bible, (Luke 4:23) "And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in Capernaum, do also here in thy country."

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