Saturday, October 3, 2009

Today's New Language

Our language has changed in recent times but we have yet to define in what way it has morphed. In order to give you some insight into that movement I offer a small guide to the subtleties of change.

We have:
Queen's English - QE
American English - AE
American Slang - AS - and now
Republican Speak - RS


QE: The Republicans wish to effect a compromise on the health care reform bill.

AE: Republicans are ready to negotiate a new health care bill to cover all Americans.


AS: Republicans wanna do da right thing.


RS: Do it our way and keep channeling money to our friends or forget the bill.


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QE: Nearly three quarters of Americans want a health care system similar to England's.

AE: According to polls over 65% of America wants a Public Option in health care.


AS: Don't wanna be sick go broke.


RS: Tremendous numbers of LEGAL citizens are 'tea-bagging' against socialized Obama-care.


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QE: The President must stop trying to fix the entire system and focus on important issues.

AE: The President should focus on the Economy and jobs first.

AS: Obama best be gettin unemployment down, yo.

RS: We can only take bribes from 1 or 2 lobbies at a time - Otherwise it gets too confusing.

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QE: The world needs some gentle stimulation to help it move forward.

AE: Tell Congress we must have a stimulus package that really helps the economy.

AS: Damn, we need that stimulus to help us down here.

RS: Stimulate this!

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QE: Rio will be hosting the 2016 Olympic games.

AE: Chicago tried valiantly to be the host of the 2016 Olympics but lost out to Rio.

AS: Olympic officials can't wait to get busy wif dem Brazilian chicks in 2016.

RS: Obama wasted time and money and lost the Olympics. HE LOST! FANTASTIC! HE'S SUCH A LOSER. WOO WOO.

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QE: I can see Global warming hurting the planet more and more each day.

AE: I can see science fighting a losing battle to stop Global Warming.

AS: I can't see no mo icebergs, where dey at?

RS: I can see Russia from my house, ya betcha!

4 comments:

Elaine said...

I love this post! Hope you don't mind if I copy/paste and email to a few friends? They would definitely appreciate it.

mug guy said...

I am honored and humbled. Of course I do not mind if this is copied and sent around the world.
What I do mind is that while it is done with humor it is also true and that's the sad part.

Elaine said...

Just thought you would like to know I did send it to a few friends and would like to share a comments with you:

"LOL Elaine... I love this :-) Just came back from viewing Michael Moore's latest film. It was very well done - a must see!! Everyone in the theater was clapping with applause at the end of the film. Maybe they were all Michael Moore fans :-)"

The rest were along the same line, love it, thanks for sending, I am forwarding to my friends.

Do you plan on seeing the Michael Moore movie? I am.

mug guy said...

That's great, thanks! Obviously your friends are very intelligent. :-)
BTW I will most likely see the M Moore film soon as well. Perhaps he should read my blog too.
Cheers!