Sunday, July 27, 2008

A Tale of One City

Subtitle: A Tale of Two Teams (Juxtaposition-wise)

Recent phone call:
Lesser Team (LT): Hello?
Bronx Bastards (BB): Listen, we need your outfielder.
LT: Yes sir. Anything you say sir.
BB: Oh, and we need a relief pitcher as well.
LT: Yes sir.
BB: We understand that Nady guy is available.
LT: Well we are about to see if he has worth in the market so…
BB: We’ll take him.
LT: You don't understand
BB: What? What did you say?
LT: I'm sorry sir.
BB: You bet your ass you're sorry. Now let's start again. We'll take Nady.
LT: Yes sir.
BB: And throw in that Marte guy. He’s of no use to you anymore.
LT: But…
BB: Listen to me; do you know who I am?
LT: Yes sir. Sorry sir.
BB: That’s better. I see Nady’s in today’s game. Take him out now.
LT: But it’s early in the game and…
BB: I SAID NOW. I DO NOT WANT OUR NEXT RIGHT FIELDER INJURED BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO PLAY FOR THE GREATEST TEAM IN BASEBALL HISTORY. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
LT: Yes sir.
BB: Are we clear?
LT: Crystal sir. Sorry sir.
BB: That's more like it!
LT: Uh, sir?
BB: What is it now? I have no time for this.
LT: Yes sir, I understand sir, but would you please tell me if we'll get something in return?
BB: OF course we'll compensate you. What do you think we are, heartless? Is that what you're saying?
LT: No sir, of course not I was just wondering...
BB: Stop sniveling. I’ll send some minor leaguers over to you. Look I have to go, my sushi is getting warm.
LT: Thank you sir (click) Sir? Sir? Gosh, I can’t believe I just talked to one of the legends of the game.

Cross-town Scenario:

There’s a long fly ball down the left field line. It hits the foul pole, home run. Carlos D of the Flushing Good Guys (FGG) has hit a homer and, wait a second, wait a second. The BBs are complaining. Let’s listen in:
“Do you know who we are? – Yes sir. And do you know who they are? Yes sir. That was a foul ball – Yes sir. Now get back to your positions and let’s play baseball. Yes sir”
Well it appears as though I was mistaken, as was the entire baseball world and the replay cameras and all the announcers, it was a foul ball.

Well we’re in the 13th inning of a tie game with St. Louis. Jose R was just robbed by the left fielder Schumaker on great catch I think or at least according to the umpire who frankly did not even bother to check and Endy C is up for the FGGs. He hits a grounder between second and third that will be a tough chance for the defense. The throw and he is safe by a foot! Nice try. No wait a second, wait a second, I was wrong, he’s out. Once again I and the entire baseball world and the instant replay cameras were wrong and a lowly out of position possibly moronic or corrupt umpire was right. By the way the FGGs proceeded to load the bases before grounding out without scoring so if the correct call had been made the FGGs would have won it in the 13th inning instead of losing it in the 14th but hey, they’re the FGGs not the BBs!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, come on now! Every team get's their fair share of ups and downs, highs and disapointments. You make it seem like the Mets are the only ones who get calls against them. It only seems that way because you only watch them night after night. If you'd watch other games, you would see that every team gets bad calls occasionally. It's really hard to sit back and read about how the poor Mets always get screwed. If the team had heart (and fewer crybabies), they might actually win something considering the "soft" division they are in. If the Philly's are the main competition, soft is a nice word for it.

So try to be objective rather than whine about things that happen to all teams!

mug guy said...

Thanks for reading.
The piece was for comedic relief but unfortunately you missed that point.
But I appreciate the passion. After all that's what this is all about. Blogging is personal dialogue looking for response and your response is noted.
The Mets are certainly not the only team receiving bad calls and the Bronxites are not only receiving good calls but as we all know umpires are human, for the most part and as such make mistakes. While their mistakes are not necessarily against one team they do have feelings, likes and dislikes.
When a bad call is made and the manager argues vehemently is he really trying to have the call changed or is he trying to stop the next close call from going against his team?
But that is another discussion. This piece was merely a contrast between the two NY teams and was for humor. Read it again, relax and when next you think of whine drop the "H" and relax.

train buddy said...

Just read your blog now. Tell Anonymous that he doesn't know what he's talking about. Not only did the umpire really blow the Chavez call, but I'm not so sure that they got the call on Jose Reyes right when they called him out at 2nd base when I thought that the shortstop never had the ball in his club. The Mets never get the right call. The also don't know how to drive in runners in scoring position with one or less outs. That's another story for your blog.

See you later.

Anonymous said...

Your "train buddy" is exactly what I was talking about. My guess is that train buddy is female because although some females claim to be big sports fans, they really don't know all of the details of individual sports. That is why they think that the umpires are "picking" on them.

Anyway, I do appreciate the humor you interject into your blogs. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

To think that the Mets were shut out from making trades by the Yankees is ludicrous. I laugh every time a Mets fan complains about the Yankees trades. Does anyone remember the Santana trade? The Mets gave up much less than what the Yankees (or even the Red Sox) were offering. And when Mets fans complain about the Yankees overpaying and buying up the "stars", do I need to mention Carlos Beltran?

Look, I'm not trying to knock the Mets. All I'm trying to do is make people aware that baseball is a game owned and played by millionairs and however much we wish things to be equal they are not. So why do we all complain about our teams so much. I can assure you that the players on your favorite teams don't lose any sleep when they lose. Why should they - they are still getting paid their millions regardless!

mug guy said...

In one respect I totally agree and that is the money angle. It has long been my stand that we are out of whack when it comes to compensation. Teachers should make more money and athletes, who basically do nothing for society should get less but this will never change.
As for your first point I do not wish to have this degenerate into an, Oh yeah? type of argument. But allow me one childish statement about the escalation of salaries and the fight for the better players in baseball. YOU STARTED IT! Yankee ownership had been stealing as many players as they could for so many years that the other teams finally had to join in. Yes the Mets and Red Sox are doing it also and while that does not make it right at least they are now on an equal level with the BBs.
Do I like it? Of course not. The practice killed baseball as we used to know it but replaced it with a different game. And using the same logic as was used for Roger Maris' Home Run record asterisk we should rename America's pasttime BA$EBALL.
And by the way, thanks for your comments.

Anonymous said...

As far as who started it, we really have to go back to the arbitrators who allowed for free agency. Remember Andy Messersmith? Since the game changed at that point, Steinbrenner (who by the way is not even liked by Yankees fans) had the money so played the "game." It was available to all teams but, obviously, only the wealthy teams could take advantage of it. Was free agency the right thing? I say no! However, the blame should really be placed where it belongs...... on the arbitrators.

As far as comparing one team vs. the other, let's stick to "who's the better fielder or pitcher or hitter because that is the way fans used to argue and, I think, still should argue about their teams.

Thanks for the opportunity to discuss my thoughts on your blog. Keep up the good work!

Train-Guy-3 said...

Hey, it looks like the Mets are starting to "tank" early this year. I guess this was bound to happen to a team with no bullpen. And people blamed Willie!

mug guy said...

s--t happens. I do actually blame Manuel but I understand his thoughts. He was trying to get Martinez 5 innings and a chance for a victory. I would have taken him out after the third run but that's just me. And I did say that at the time. There is no way to tell if the outcome would have been different but I believe it would have changed. But the season still has a ways to go and time will tell.
As for the other guy, he still gives me the Willies!