Monday, December 24, 2007


Someone once said “A rose is a rose is a rose. That which by any other name would smell as sweet.” But what of that which detects the fragrance of the rose? I’m of course referring to the oft maligned oft forgotten nose.

All the fame would seem to belong to the rose, but what would that flower be without the nose to smell it? It would just be another pretty flower with thorns. The nose on the other hand is marvelous and varied. Just think of the many kinds of noses that exist in today’s world. There are: big noses, small noses, fat noses, thin noses, round noses, flat noses, hook noses, upturned noses, pug noses, freckled noses, runny noses, snot noses, peeling noses, stuffed noses, clean noses, broken noses, fixed noses, bloody noses, mustachioed noses, twitchy noses, itchy noses, and the business executive’s constant companion the brown nose.

A rose doesn’t know anything but a nose is wise - the nose knows. Flowers cannot get any work - who would hire them? However everyone has surely heard of a nose job. And for a reporter it is a great asset to have a nose for news.

Also remember all of the things you can do with a nose. You can: blow it, wipe it, scratch it, pick it, dive on it, scrunch it, break it, punch it, rub it, hang your glasses on it, tweak it, look down it, turn it up, fix it, wriggle it, fall flat on it, lead someone by it, and win a race by it.

And suppose that that race you’ve just won by that nose is the Kentucky Derby, do you know what one of your prizes is? A horseshoe shaped ring of ROSES! I tell you there is no justice in the world.

I think that more should be done to glorify the nose. Possibly Pasadena could have an annual tournament of noses parade with prizes such as the Jimmy Durante Award for the largest float with class, or the W. C. Fields Award for the most colorful float, or the Septumus Maximus Award for the most deviated float, and of course the first prize, the Grand Proboscis Award given to the most breathtaking nose of the parade.

How about some books such as “A Nose Grows in Brooklyn” or “The Yellow Nose of Texas.”

In the animal kingdom the nose is very important. The elephant and the anteater would be lost without one. Birds are always proudly displaying their beaks and most animals use theirs to smell danger. The dolphin uses its snout to hit sharks and thereby scare them away. Let’s see you scare a shark away by throwing roses at it.
So take care of your nose and be proud of it. Follow it to a better life. And in closing I hope it is clear that while a nose by any other name would still smell! It is not true that a nose is a nose is a nose.

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