THE 8 NIGHTS OF HANNUKAH

 For those amazed that so many Christmas songs were written by Jewish songwriters here is the main reason.

This was the attempt to glorify Hannukah that led to the famous “12 days of Christmas.”

On the 1^st day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit the 1^st candle with the shamash.

On the 2^nd day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit 2 more candles with the shamash.

On the 3^rd day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit 3 more candles with the shamash.

On the 4^th day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit 4 more candles with the shamash.

On the 5^th day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit 5 more candles with the shamash.

On the 6^th day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit 6 more candles with the shamash.

On the 7^th day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit 7 more candles with the shamash.

On the last day of Hannukah we stood by the Menorah
And lit 8 more candles with the shamash.

LET’S EAT!

JUMBO SHRIMP & OTHER OXYMORONS

We are all familiar with an oxymoron or two, (click to link) or perhaps fifty.

The ones we readily know are simple terms likes jumbo shrimp or the Great Depression.

But there are hidden ones that we hear all the time and fail to notice their inherent absurdity such as Government Intelligence.

Here are a few more modern ones:

LIPA – Long Island Power Authority – which has none or chooses not to use it if it does!

NIFA – Nassau County Interim Finance Authority – Which again has none and doesn't seem to care!

Pro-Life – Well, not all life, just the ones we want to be 'Pro' for. This group opposes the Pro Choice movement and chooses life only for an unborn fetus OVER THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER! (Their name should be changed to NO CHOICE!)

The Heritage Foundation – Whose? A group that cares not for America’s heritage but only that of a few wealthy anti-government regulations wealthy business owners.  Understanding that the America we know was founded and built by aliens and slaves so to deny that fact would be to deny our heritage!

Family Research Council – The name implies they are looking into all things that make up families when in fact they are interested only in families of traditional white Anglo-Saxon heterosexuals (preferably with lots of money!)

American Family Association - Very anti-Founding Fathers’ idea of an America free from religion in government they advocate a full return to the bible as law! They should remove the first word from their name or add ‘Church Going’ after it.

Citizens United – Who are they kidding? Clearly this group usurps all the power it can from the hands of the average citizen by making sure money and only large sums of it controls government. The 'citizens' they speak of are corporations which, contrary to morons on the Supreme Court ARE NOT PEOPLE!

Eagle Forum – The symbol of America is the Eagle so using the bird’s name in their title makes you think they are 100% for America! But they advocate NO government in their lives. They don’t have a clue!

Freedom Works – Sounds like a good thing except when you realize they want total freedom from taxes which would basically de-fund America! Oh, and like most Conservative groups they are against the Environmental Protection Agency since it costs money to operate. They’d rather die from pollution with money than give a little back so that all Americans could live longer! In essence the way this group uses the term freedom does not work!

Legal Reform – This is advocated by the US Chamber of Commerce and sounds fair, but a look at the agenda proves otherwise. The group wishes to remove all litigation against big business so that they can run roughshod over individual rights and pollute as they wish in order to create more wealth for themselves and their friends! It should say illegal reform.

Any GOP led Hearing: The current controlling political party in Congress has made a habit of making believe the hearings they convene and investigations they fund are legitimate when in fact they are complete farces. The witch hunts they utilize are meant only to bolster their power over the majority of the country and ensure their reelections.

And finally two of my personal favorites that need no explanation (but I will comment nevertheless):

Jews for Jesus (If you are then you are not!
and the most obvious oxymoron in America today,
Fox News.

Change the Past or the Future?

History is filled with ‘What Ifs.’

If you could go back in time and change things would you?

What if the Titanic had enough lifeboats to service all its  passengers?

What if the SS California had not turned off their wireless for the night and had actually heard the distress call from Titanic?

They were only a few miles away and easily could have arrived in time to save most of the passengers.

Sadly the engine crew probably would not have made it out but fifteen hundred others who died in the frigid waters of the north Atlantic would have reached America shaken and without their personal possessions but alive. 

I do not blame SS California for its failure as they did try to warn Titanic of iceberg dangers in the water but with so many wealthy people aboard the wireless operator was inundated with messages to send out and refused to listen to all else.

The Carpathia tried valiantly to get there in time but the laws of physics and liquid dynamics prevented them from doing so.

The Unsinkable Mollie Brown would not have been a film and when I visited her museum in Denver I would have been trespassing in someone’s home.

Science fiction writers have covered every topic of alternate endings or futures imaginable through the years with regards to titanic like events.

What if that asteroid did not kill off the dinosaurs?

Would mammals ever have survived and taken over the world?

What if that Jewish carpenters son was not murdered a couple of thousand years ago and allowed to continue talking about peace till old age took him?  Would any of us now remember his name?
What if women never got the vote or slavery was never abolished?
I should pause here so my Republican friends can wipe the smiles off their faces and stop daydreaming.

What if my high school Spanish teacher had not found that tiny piece of paper I hid under my butt?

History teaches us but do we learn?

History warns us but do we heed?

And with that in mind I turn your thoughts toward a topic that has polarized humanity for over half a century.

It's a hot button issue that’s guaranteed to start arguments and turn former likable actors into raving lunatics after being caught driving under the influence.

It’s also an event whose very existence has been denied by many who refuse to admit facts into their brains, most notably and dangerously the bearded ugly President of Iran.

What if Hitler had been stopped before killing so many Jews?

In other words, what if the Holocaust had never happened?

Before going further let me assure you that it did and I in no way shape or form am suggesting otherwise!

But what if?

First and foremost there would be many more Jews alive today, or at least I think so.

Steven Spielberg would still be making movies but only about aliens and Liam Neeson would have one less great role to point to.

There would be no Israeli state and the entire Middle East would be Arab territory with occasional visits by nomadic Jews.

The Bible toting radical Evangelicals would have to interpret the prelude to the Rapture in a different way.

And so many more consequences or threads leading from that horrible event that would or should not have happened that I am not smart enough to know or educe.

What I am trying to bring out is while it is romantic to think about how we would change the past given the opportunity we should face the reality that it cannot be done.

And it is entirely possible that while events of the past may have been terrible they are just that, in the past.

And rather than decry them forever we should learn from them and where possible make sure they never happen again.

For the most part we have made things better as a result of past disasters.

The likelihood of another cruise ship setting sail without sufficient lifeboats and trained personnel to load them is near zero.

We may not be able to do anything about an asteroid hitting our atmosphere in the future, sorry Mr. Willis but at least we will be well aware of it long before it does.

And I now know better ways to hide cheat sheets should the need ever arise.

But more to the point, will there be more atrocities in the future?

Will there be pain and suffering brought about by man’s inhumanity to man?

Will natural events such as tornadoes and hurricanes and earthquakes continue to destroy property and ruin lives?

The answer to these questions is undeniably yes!

Can we lessen their effect and mitigate the pain they cause?

The answer to this is also yes.

And the way to do this is through education.

We should embrace science and seek to understand more about our world and the natural forces that shape our very existence.

Closing our eyes to empirical fact is both ill advised and dangerous.

Religion and faith can coexist with science and education as long as the former does not attempt to supersede the latter and impede progress or muddy the waters.

What if we used religion only for personal inner peace and lost the need or desire to proselytize?

What if instead of trying to put the other guy down for personal or political gain our leaders started using their brains to work toward raising everyone up?

If we could admit that some of us have more than we will ever need even if we live to 200 then maybe we could selflessly work toward helping those of us who only have enough to reach next week and build a better future for all.

And if we did all this we might finally be able to lose the ‘What Ifs’ forever.

Ich Bin There Done That

Imagine someone blaming others for his problems.
Imagine this man is a prominent leader or someone high up in government or at least important to government.
Now imagine this man writing a book and getting many people worked up over his allegations.
Well this man could be a fictitious villager in Mary Shelley's of Frankenstein or a real Senator named McCarthy in the U S Congress.
Unfortunately these days he could also be a she and running for office right here in immigrant fearing America.
But this time it is a German banker who has sparked the controversy by voicing his opinion on all people not like him.
Thilo Sarrazin is a board member of Germany's central bank and his opinions are naturally important to the business community.  Thilo wrote a book blaming all of his country's woes on a familiar foe, none other than those hated Jews!  He claims that all Jews have specific genes that make them unique.
Thilo believes that immigrants are making Germany dumber and it is only a matter of time before they outnumber the, uh original master race?
He is not alone in his delusion that is not bounded by man's made up political borders.  And his statements couldn't come at a more interesting time given the political firestorm centered around a currently vacant building in lower Manhattan.
The difference between the two groups of bogeymen however should not be ignored.  The Jews have long been persecuted and make up a relatively small group compared to the world's Muslim population.  But coming from a German they must surely be noted and cataloged and watched for metastasis.
Some will argue that Thilo has a point about Jews having different genes.  After all there are diseases that appear to attack them and not others.  Those individuals are obviously only using the data they need to prove a point while ignoring all the facts.  Diseases such as Tay Sachs do not discriminate and will gladly attack any host willing to let them in.  Many non-Jews are susceptible to this deadly disease.
But the point that peoples of different regions or race or background have developed differently through the eons of Earth's history merely means that they have grown different immunities and allergies.
In a perfect world people in authority would be working together to find cures for all diseases that affect humans or animals for that matter.
In that perfect world people would realize the true worth of peacefully working together toward common goals.
When I stub my toe it would be as idiotic to blame the leg of the guilty table for being immovable as it would to place the blame on the people being killed in Darfur.
With great power comes great responsibility (Original quote not from Spiderman's Uncle Ben but Socrates.)
People such as Messr. Sarrazin should know better and given Germany's and the World's misconception of the Jewish population vis a vie money a central banker is the last person we need to hear complaining about Judaism.
In a civilized world we should not punish a man for his opinions but we also should not allow him to yell fire in a theater without consequences.
So who do I blame for all this hate and fear of minorities?
Who is at fault?
"The fault... is not in our stars but in ourselves..."
So I guess I cannot blame anyone else.
It's my fault.
It's all of our faults.
But while I am not the first person to say that wouldn't it be great if some time soon no one had to?