Tuesday, July 18, 2017


This came to my email inbox from a group calling themselves The Pen
It is noted as satire and I repeat before you read it that it is indeed satire. But is sure is right on satire.

A lot of people may not know that Benedict Arnold, the most infamous of colonial traitors, a prominent revolutionary war general who endeavored to sell surrender of the fort at West Point for a price, published a series of open letters to the "Inhabitants of America"
justifying himself. Here are some selected excerpts from those letters.

From Letter 1: Don't believe a word you hear from all the fake town criers. I've never talked to a loyalist or a Tory, not even one time, even though my wife's father is one. These are all lies and more lies, told by people who will say anything to win, disgusting and sad. Why, even now I am on my way to West Point to assume command there, and we will have so many brilliant victories you will get tired of winning. 

From Letter 2: OK, I admit that I met with Major Andre, representative of King George the 3rd, but nothing came of it. Yeah sure, I told them I wanted 20,000 pounds to disclose our troop movements and to dissipate our supply depots, which I in fact did.

And to demonstrate my transparency, I've released the offer of collusion letters that were just about to be published anyway. But they didn't give me any money up front, so it's all just a little bowl of cold nothing porridge. 

From Letter 3: Hey, I'm sitting here fat and happy in Great Britain right now, at least I got 6,000 pounds out of all this, which I'm using to speculate in real estate . . . really. Just barely managed to slip through enemy lines before George Washington's forces could catch up to me, with orders to hang me on the spot. They hanged Major Andre though, tough for him. Anyway, you'd all be better off if you were still subjects of the king. Anybody would have done what I did, everybody says so, and I have nothing but contempt for anyone who does not agree.

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