by Donald J Trump
Four score and seven years ago the Democratic Party brought forth on this continent a crashed stock market.
Do the math people!
I want the liberty to conceive with Melania in the White House, and dedicate my life to the proposition that while all men are created equal I am more equal than most!
Now we are engaged in a great civil debate, testing whether our Party, or any Party so conceived and so dedicated, can take all 5 branches of government.
Ya know there are 5 branches, or there will be when I take over and they will be the best branches ever. I mean the tree I create out of those new branches are going to be fantastic, the best the greatest branches ever, you wait and see but it won’t happen unless you vote for me and then we will be great again with the greatest best most amazing branches ever.
Okay, where was I? Oh yeah.
We are met on a great battlefield of this campaign. We have come to dedicate a portion of that campaign to making certain I don’t lose money. And as a final resting place for those Democrats and crooked Hillary who say they give their lives but we know they are lying, right? I mean you know they lie. That’s all they do is lie! They can’t even do that good. I mean if I lied it would be the best lie ever, EVER! It is altogether fitting and proper that we beat back the Democrats this November. And this time I’ll make sure my kids all vote, right guys? No more screw ups, ha ha, right?
But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot be hollow in this nation. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled in the Supreme Court and the debates with me and lost because I am so much better than them could have consecrated it but did not. I have the power to add or detract from this nation and I will do so to the best of my ability. And you know my abilities are great, and my plans are large, like my hands and other parts where I have no problems, believe me, none at all down there or anywhere. Ask my bit, I mean Melania. Wasn’t she great? Wow, what a freaking great speech she wrote. And that delivery! I mean wow, even Chris Matthews was blown away although she would never, uh well let’s get back on point.
The world will surely note, and long remember what I say here today. And it can never forget what the Democrats did four score and seven years ago!
It is now for us the living, rather, to dedicate here to the unfinished work which my family fought here and have thus far so nobly advanced. It is for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, beating crooked Hillary and ending the reign of the Kenyan!
Let us make sure Scalia and other honored dead conservatives and Evangelists and all religious people except Muslims cause you know what they want to do take increased devotion to the cause for which we now here dedicate ourselves.
We must highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain! That this nation, under Trump, shall have a new birth of freedom and jobs and safety and that government of the Trump, by Trump, for Trump, shall not perish from the earth.