AMERICANS FINALLY HAVE A POT TO...

With the legalization of marijuana becoming a nationwide juggernaut one thing is clear, Bill Maher is not the only happy camper. He is joined by millions of adherents to the 4-20 lifestyle.

So how did our leaders conclude it was time for the change, and why now?

Well for one polling across the country had surpassed the 50% approval point and for the most part that is what drives their every move.

But Mexico is also on the way to legalizing marijuana later this year as well.

Yup, the entire country to our south will make it legal to own, carry and use weed!

Aside from stemming the tide of people moving north to smoke out their American dream as it were, it is annoying the hell out of the country’s drug cartels.

So, one might say it’s a win-win. But one would be wrong.

It is a win-win-win-win!

The third win for America is the increased tax revenue, the syntax for a higher sin-tax.

And the fourth win can be counted in lives saved!

That’s right, legalizing marijuana will save the lives and eventually the livelihoods of those society used to call hoods!

This is because it will put an end to a major part of the failed war on drugs!

Fewer people will be arrested for this former minor infraction and spend years if not decades in prison.

And to make matters worse the incarcerated youths are sent to ‘for profit’ prisons. This means the longer they are kept out of society the more money the corporations who own the places will pocket.

The prison owners routinely collect $60 per day per prisoner. They can save much of the ill-gotten cash by lowering the services they provide to the inmates. Skimping on the quality of the meals and lowering healthcare to the point of non-existence makes their bottom-line rise, so you do the math!

And with so much money to be made there is nearly no chance the inmates will become out-mates any time soon, so forget about that parole junkie!

The shift in policy is going to affect many other sectors than the prison industry.

Obviously, big tobacco will want a piece of the action and of course the snack industry is going to find the change sweet.

The new field of Cannabidiol (CBD) has already created stores, outlets and plenty of jobs for the average dude.

And surprisingly it has not raised the ire of those on religious right who are always against people getting ‘high’ on pot, or enjoying any pleasure not controlled by them.

Heaven forbid others enjoy themselves without praising Jesus.

Although many who have smoked pot have been known to say, “Jesus, that’s good stuff” from time to time.”

So, the bottom line is, when it comes to pot the government has lightened up so as Bill Maher would say, LIGHT UP!

WWLS

Surely everyone has heard the acronym WWJD.
It stands for: "What Would Jesus Do?"
And I believe it is fair to say that were he alive today the man of peace would not approve of anything the current GOP candidate for President of the United States says or does.

But Jesus is a figure from over 2,000 years ago and in some ways irrelevant today.
So how about someone from our recent history?
Someone with a fairly high approval rating among both or most political parties?
Sadly the man of whom I speak is also long gone but his thoughts are not.  They are preserved in quotes passed down from generation to generation.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you a new metric upon which to measure Donald Trump:

WWLS

What Would Lincoln Say?

Actually what DID he say?
(Click the link to read a litany of the 16th President's sayings.)

What Would our 16th say?

Abe's actual quotes are in bold red italics:

Firstly and perfectly:
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. 
Sorry Donald but that ship has sailed!

And how about the people who are thinking of placing this dangerous man in the White House?
America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
PLEASE DO NOT!

And what about all the statements that spew from Mr. Trump's mouth that seem to contradict themselves?
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
But he sure as hell tries!
Sadly he succeeds in fooling far too many which should lead all of us to realize we need a better educational system in America! (No more books printed in, edited and distributed by Texas!)

I like this one too:
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
The Trump stench has not yet harmed the publicity hounding con man's poll numbers!

And then there's the most famous:
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Well so far he has fooled enough to be a YUGE threat to the future of our great Democracy!

And also famously:
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Well not exactly ALL men, right Donnie boy?

And speaking of ALL MEN he is threatening to prove the following painfully correct!
A house divided against itself cannot stand. 
He has created a divide from which may not soon heal!

And if you still think you wish to have the Donald as the leader of the free world and in control of America's nuclear football:
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
And then make sure your fallout shelter is well stocked.

And finally in Lincoln's own words he directs us, no begs us not to believe in the likes of Donald Trump but to reject him, shun him and keep him and others like him as far away from power as is humanly possible!
We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.

The party of Lincoln approved this message, albeit quietly so as to not incur the wrath of their current standard bearer!

Lincoln would've loved me.
I'm the greatest leader that ever lived!
The best leader!
The only leader that can...

JUMBO SHRIMP & OTHER OXYMORONS

We are all familiar with an oxymoron or two, (click to link) or perhaps fifty.

The ones we readily know are simple terms likes jumbo shrimp or the Great Depression.

But there are hidden ones that we hear all the time and fail to notice their inherent absurdity such as Government Intelligence.

Here are a few more modern ones:

LIPA – Long Island Power Authority – which has none or chooses not to use it if it does!

NIFA – Nassau County Interim Finance Authority – Which again has none and doesn't seem to care!

Pro-Life – Well, not all life, just the ones we want to be 'Pro' for. This group opposes the Pro Choice movement and chooses life only for an unborn fetus OVER THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER! (Their name should be changed to NO CHOICE!)

The Heritage Foundation – Whose? A group that cares not for America’s heritage but only that of a few wealthy anti-government regulations wealthy business owners.  Understanding that the America we know was founded and built by aliens and slaves so to deny that fact would be to deny our heritage!

Family Research Council – The name implies they are looking into all things that make up families when in fact they are interested only in families of traditional white Anglo-Saxon heterosexuals (preferably with lots of money!)

American Family Association - Very anti-Founding Fathers’ idea of an America free from religion in government they advocate a full return to the bible as law! They should remove the first word from their name or add ‘Church Going’ after it.

Citizens United – Who are they kidding? Clearly this group usurps all the power it can from the hands of the average citizen by making sure money and only large sums of it controls government. The 'citizens' they speak of are corporations which, contrary to morons on the Supreme Court ARE NOT PEOPLE!

Eagle Forum – The symbol of America is the Eagle so using the bird’s name in their title makes you think they are 100% for America! But they advocate NO government in their lives. They don’t have a clue!

Freedom Works – Sounds like a good thing except when you realize they want total freedom from taxes which would basically de-fund America! Oh, and like most Conservative groups they are against the Environmental Protection Agency since it costs money to operate. They’d rather die from pollution with money than give a little back so that all Americans could live longer! In essence the way this group uses the term freedom does not work!

Legal Reform – This is advocated by the US Chamber of Commerce and sounds fair, but a look at the agenda proves otherwise. The group wishes to remove all litigation against big business so that they can run roughshod over individual rights and pollute as they wish in order to create more wealth for themselves and their friends! It should say illegal reform.

Any GOP led Hearing: The current controlling political party in Congress has made a habit of making believe the hearings they convene and investigations they fund are legitimate when in fact they are complete farces. The witch hunts they utilize are meant only to bolster their power over the majority of the country and ensure their reelections.

And finally two of my personal favorites that need no explanation (but I will comment nevertheless):

Jews for Jesus (If you are then you are not!
and the most obvious oxymoron in America today,
Fox News.