'TWAS THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS

Twas the night after Christmas and in all the towns
People were walking with quite pronounced frowns
You’d think that by now they all would just learn
But alas they were carrying gifts to return

Through cold and through damp
And through snow they would tramp
To follow the signs 
And to wait on long lines

The joy of the holiday seemed but a memory
Of earlier times when they laughed and were merry
But driving to malls in the harsh light of day
Fighting traffic and crowds had wiped all that away

When, pray tell when, would the happy be back
And fill their sad lives with the joy they now lack
Then one at a time as they all seemed to grieve
They realized that next week would bring New Year’s Eve

And a time to forget all the crap of the past
And toss out the garbage and bad thoughts at last
The new year would bring them all fortune and fame
The slate was wiped clean as they start a new game

The future was finally filled with great joy
For every mom, dad, little girl, little boy
Their faces turned bright and their lives lost all fear
And they wished all their friends A FANTASTIC NEW YEAR!

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON LIFE

Why is it called “Take Out?”
That puts it in the perspective of the restaurant.
But if I am the one paying for the food to eat shouldn’t it be called “Take In?

When we go to the barber or stylist why don’t we say hair??
You want IT cut?
How should I style IT?
How short do you want IT?
IT looks good. (THEY look good?)
You take off your hat or hood and say it was really humid today. I couldn’t do a thing with it.
No wonder your hair falls out too soon.
How would you like to be referred to as IT all your life?

When a drug commercial spends more time on the scary awful side effects it must immediately be taken off the air. And if one of the side effects noted on that drug commercial is death they’ve lost me. I no longer care what it’s trying to cure!

If police officers are public servants, why do they get mad when I ask them to get me a soda?

I have taken advantage of every cost saving plan the phone company has offered me for 40 years. So how come my bill is now 10 times higher than it was back then?

Medical thought: When one needs to have a colonoscopy, one is required to ‘do the prep’ prior to the procedure. Don’t do the prep and they will not do the procedure! They go hand in hand, sorry. BUT the prep is not covered under any medical insurance coverage. Instead it is placed separately under a drug plan which will naturally NOT cover it! WHY?

If I win a $100 million lottery how come I only get $40 million? $40 million is great and if I won that much, I’d be thrilled so why not just call it a $40 million lottery instead of rubbing the fact that gov’t gets more than I do? And they didn’t even buy the damn ticket in the first place!!!

Why do I have to tell my doctor if I’ve been to a region where fungal disease or parasites exist or if I’m pregnant? He’s the one getting the co-pay, co-insurance, reimbursement from Medicare and supplemental plans. All I’m getting is a damn needle and the bill!

I’ve owned 10 cars and not one of them ever got anywhere near the gas mileage I was promised.

When weathermen/women tell you the temperature, (It’s 38 degrees) they also tell you what it feels like (but it feels like 24.)
Well if it feels like 24, THEN IT IS 24!
(Where are my gloves?)

And speaking of the weather, what’s up with the percentages of precipitation? Instead of saying there’s a 50% chance of rain why not just say, I’ve got no freaking idea about precip today!

After the last 3 or so years can we finally admit the news is permanently broken?

US NEWS & WORLD REPORT BEST STATES

Note: RED vs BLUE Washington      -    1 New Hampshire -    2 Minnesota -    3 Utah -    4 Vermont -    5 Maryland -    6 Virginia -    7 Massachusetts -    8 Nebraska   -    9 Colorado -  10 Wisconsin -   11 New Jersey -   12 Florida -   13 Iowa   -   14 North Dakota    -   15 Idaho -   16 Georgia   -   17 North Carolina -   18 California -   19 South Dakota -   20 Connecticut   -   21 Kansas -   22 Delaware -   23 Hawaii -   24 New York -   25 Rhode Island -   26 Oregon -   27 Missouri -   28 Montana -   29 Tennessee -   30 Wyoming -    31 Maine -   32 Michigan -   33 Arizona -   34 Illinois -   35 Indiana -   36 Nevada -   37 Texas -   38 Ohio -   39 Kentucky -   40 Pennsylvania -   41 South Carolina -   42 Oklahoma -   43 Alaska -   44 Arkansas -   45 New Mexico -   46 West Virginia -   47 Mississippi -   48 Alabama -   49 Louisiana -   50 TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC BUT: ADD RED   # S & ADD BLUE # S AS IN GOLF LOW SCORE WINS: RED    - 701 BLUE  - 574
LINK TO ORIGINAL REPORT