JUMBO SHRIMP & OTHER OXYMORONS

We are all familiar with an oxymoron or two, (click to link) or perhaps fifty.

The ones we readily know are simple terms likes jumbo shrimp or the Great Depression.

But there are hidden ones that we hear all the time and fail to notice their inherent absurdity such as Government Intelligence.

Here are a few more modern ones:

LIPA – Long Island Power Authority – which has none or chooses not to use it if it does!

NIFA – Nassau County Interim Finance Authority – Which again has none and doesn't seem to care!

Pro-Life – Well, not all life, just the ones we want to be 'Pro' for. This group opposes the Pro Choice movement and chooses life only for an unborn fetus OVER THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER! (Their name should be changed to NO CHOICE!)

The Heritage Foundation – Whose? A group that cares not for America’s heritage but only that of a few wealthy anti-government regulations wealthy business owners.  Understanding that the America we know was founded and built by aliens and slaves so to deny that fact would be to deny our heritage!

Family Research Council – The name implies they are looking into all things that make up families when in fact they are interested only in families of traditional white Anglo-Saxon heterosexuals (preferably with lots of money!)

American Family Association - Very anti-Founding Fathers’ idea of an America free from religion in government they advocate a full return to the bible as law! They should remove the first word from their name or add ‘Church Going’ after it.

Citizens United – Who are they kidding? Clearly this group usurps all the power it can from the hands of the average citizen by making sure money and only large sums of it controls government. The 'citizens' they speak of are corporations which, contrary to morons on the Supreme Court ARE NOT PEOPLE!

Eagle Forum – The symbol of America is the Eagle so using the bird’s name in their title makes you think they are 100% for America! But they advocate NO government in their lives. They don’t have a clue!

Freedom Works – Sounds like a good thing except when you realize they want total freedom from taxes which would basically de-fund America! Oh, and like most Conservative groups they are against the Environmental Protection Agency since it costs money to operate. They’d rather die from pollution with money than give a little back so that all Americans could live longer! In essence the way this group uses the term freedom does not work!

Legal Reform – This is advocated by the US Chamber of Commerce and sounds fair, but a look at the agenda proves otherwise. The group wishes to remove all litigation against big business so that they can run roughshod over individual rights and pollute as they wish in order to create more wealth for themselves and their friends! It should say illegal reform.

Any GOP led Hearing: The current controlling political party in Congress has made a habit of making believe the hearings they convene and investigations they fund are legitimate when in fact they are complete farces. The witch hunts they utilize are meant only to bolster their power over the majority of the country and ensure their reelections.

And finally two of my personal favorites that need no explanation (but I will comment nevertheless):

Jews for Jesus (If you are then you are not!
and the most obvious oxymoron in America today,
Fox News.