Hypocritical Oath

A secret document was just uncovered that may help everyone understand what is happening in America these days.

I am risking much to bring this document to light but I do so in the spirit of that which made America great and in the hopes that one day we shall re-achieve that greatness.

Here then is the HYPOCRITICAL OATH recited with the right hand up and the left hand on the Bible with fingers crossed:


FIRST DO NO HARM that can later be pinned on you.


MAKE SURE THE NEEDY ARE TAKEN CARE OF in a way that causes no imposition to yourself or the wealthy.


BLOCK BY ANY AND ALL MEANS NECESSARY REFORMS MEANT TO HARM OTHERS as long as those others continue to pay for the service.


NEVER ALLOW NOR ANSWER A LOADED QUESTION unless it is presented by a supporter, flunky, or favorable news network.


NEVER TELL A LIE but if caught in one blame faulty information supplied by the other side.


COACH OTHERS IN THE WAYS OF A PURE AND PEACEFUL EXISTENCE PASSING LAWS TO ASSIST THEM IN THOSE ENDEAVORS based solely on your religious upbringing regardless of what non-believing infidels think.


CONTINUE THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE in the physical sense only and by at least a couple of avenues or long blocks.


USE NOT THE KNIFE TO COMMIT A CRIME as long as guns are still available from the NRA.


NEVER KNOWING GIVE OR ALLOW TO BE TAKEN ANY DRUG THAT CAN DO HARM unless the minimum pricing schedule set up by 'Big Pharma' has been followed.


NEVER USE OR ABUSE THE PUBLIC TRUST AFTER GATHERING THE PERSONAL INFORMATION OF OTHERS unless it is deemed necessary to help the careers of your friends, your sponsors or your loved ones.


NEVER CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE without an escape clause ready and an assistant to swear by it at your side.


CONTINUE TO PREACH LOWER TAXES FOR THE MIDDLE CLASS as long as you can get away with that myth.


MAKE PUBLIC YOUR THOUGHTS ON HOW TO BETTER THE NATION without any intention of following through on them thereby using the loophole, "It's the thought that counts."


IF FOUND TO HAVE BROKEN ANY OF THE ABOVE RULES BY A JURY OF YOUR PEERS YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY RESIGN and accept a pension not less than your entire lifetime salary and a position with a lobby of your choice.

NOW REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:
THESE ARE THE RULES TO WHICH I COMMIT MYSELF AND THEREBY DEDICATE MY LIFE IN THE HALLOWED HALLS OF THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS SO HELP ME MY GOD

Today's New Language

Our language has changed in recent times but we have yet to define in what way it has morphed. In order to give you some insight into that movement I offer a small guide to the subtleties of change.

We have:
Queen's English - QE
American English - AE
American Slang - AS - and now
Republican Speak - RS


QE: The Republicans wish to effect a compromise on the health care reform bill.

AE: Republicans are ready to negotiate a new health care bill to cover all Americans.

AS: Republicans wanna do da right thing.

RS: Do it our way and keep channeling money to our friends or forget the bill.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

QE: Nearly three quarters of Americans want a health care system similar to England's.

AE: According to polls over 65% of America wants a Public Option in health care.

AS: Don't wanna be sick go broke.

RS: Tremendous numbers of LEGAL citizens are 'tea-bagging' against socialized Obama-care.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

QE: The President must stop trying to fix the entire system and focus on important issues.

AE: The President should focus on the Economy and jobs first.

AS: Obama best be gettin unemployment down, yo.

RS: We can only take bribes from 1 or 2 lobbies at a time - Otherwise it gets too confusing.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

QE: The world needs some gentle stimulation to help it move forward.

AE: Tell Congress we must have a stimulus package that really helps the economy.

AS: Damn, we need that stimulus to help us down here.

RS: Stimulate this!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

QE: Rio will be hosting the 2016 Olympic games.

AE: Chicago tried valiantly to be the host of the 2016 Olympics but lost out to Rio.

AS: Olympic officials can't wait to get busy wif dem Brazilian chicks in 2016.

RS: Obama wasted time and money and lost the Olympics. HE LOST! FANTASTIC! HE'S SUCH A LOSER. WOO WOO.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

QE: I can see Global warming hurting the planet more and more each day.

AE: I can see science fighting a losing battle to stop Global Warming.

AS: I can't see no mo icebergs, where dey at?

RS: I can see Russia from my house, ya betcha!

Two Heads are Better Than Three

Recently there has been talk of the need for a third party to keep the Democrats and Republicans honest.

First of all the premise is absurd on its face - Neither of those two parties have been honest for years.

But there is a fundamental problem with introducing a third party into the National mix for upcoming elections. In case you haven't noticed the economy is in the dumps and money is not flowing as freely as it once was.

With that in mind let's have a little compassion for those poor people in the lobbying business.

If there was another party running against the incumbent two that would increase the number of bribes needed by 50%!

People get real!

Do you really think the Health Insurance lobby can afford that much more? And suppose they told their current group of Congressional puppets that they will have to cut back on their bribe income? How well do you think that conversation would go? Grassly might have a coronary and Fox would blame it on Obama for starting the whole debate in the first place.

The National Rifle Association would not be happy, I can tell you that! And folks do we really want to piss off PWGs? (People with Guns.) I for one do not. They can keep their concealed weapons next to the concealed bribe money.

And let's face it - Does anyone really believe a new party would behave any differently? This system did not just spring up in the last few years. Congress has been cultivating the special interest groups and vice versa for as long as there has been a stock market.

And speaking of the Stock Market can we afford to make those guys and gals angry?

I should say not!

If we annoy them they might not loan us back any of the billions we gave them and their CEOs and families so that they could go on vacation and visit spas to release the stress caused by the economic disaster of last September.

No, I think the current two party system of do nothing Senators and Representatives who get nothing done while getting paid over and under the table is just fine. We really don't need to increase that number by half.

(Hey guys, now that I have said my piece in your defense can I get a job?)

When Segregation is a Good Thing

When you turn on the news or open your newspaper or browser you are looking for new knowledge.

When dealing with papers or even the web most news sources offer you sections in which to easily find what you seek.

For example if you are reading the newspaper and really only care about how your local teams did you obviously turn to the sports pages, Section B in most papers. For entertainment we go to section C or the Arts & Leisure and most multi sectioned papers use "D" for their business. (Wouldn't "B" be better for Business?)

If you need to find news on television or cable you may turn to your favorite station but you will have to wait to hear your wanted item unless it is considered "Breaking News." Unfortunately just about everything is considered Breaking News these days.

And if you are among the less educated hateful people you need not wait to turn on The Fox News (?) channel.

But we need a change to the normal conventions that have served us so well for so long.

Nowadays you have to sift through so much flotsam and jetsam to get to the island that contains your wanted article that you may lose interest or forget why you opened the paper in the first place.

I would like to propose a new way of printing and sorting newspapers that may save the industry and allow the public to enjoy the product more.

I propose a combination of the way news used to be reported with the way it is now done. Years ago we paid one penny for the news but that was what we got, the news! Good or bad happy or sad we got the news.

But today we have a conglomerate of fact and fiction; news and opinion; stories of truth and ones that scream, "You lie!"

I want the facts segregated from the rest of the articles. This is what I would love to see from now on:

Section 1 or "A" becomes the news! And by that I mean the radical idea of unadulterated no opinion added straight fact news. Not Fox's version or even MSNBC's more fair version. Factual news that would have made Sargent Friday proud.

Section 2 or "B" could be an entire reprint with a conservative slant followed by the Liberal point of view in Section 3 or "C" (You could do it the other way around but I would prefer a convention that all publications would agree to follow.)

The remaining sections would report Business; Sports; Arts & Leisure; and anything else the publishing company could afford to print. The 'funnies' should be incorporated into the Arts & Leisure section. And advertising would be limited to Sections B and up with no one allowed to mar or spin the news in section 1.

I have left out the weather because until the meteorologists can get up to the point where they are at least 50% accurate I cannot in good faith consider them for section 1. They may have a column reporting on yesterday's weather and how close or far away from right they were with their predictions but for now the 4 day forecasts must appear alongside sports.

Anyone interested in this type of paper contact me through the personals or by commenting below.

And that's the way it is, Thursday, October first, 2009.
This is the Eclectic Curmudgeon signing off. Good night!

Is We Educated?

According to a study of the World's math and science scores by country America ranks 9th.

While I would love us to be number one I am a realist and I understand that we cannot be the leader on every front. Naturally I hope we use this as a stimulus (can I use that word for this?) to do better in the coming years.

But while coming in ninth may not be bad considering how many countries there are in the world it is nevertheless not something to be terribly proud of. I mean you are not going to hear many citizens going around shouting "We're Number 9" unless they are inveterate Beatles fans.

Of course being number 9 is thirty better than our rank in the World's ratings for health care but that's another story (See Below.)

What I find interesting is the placement of the countries above and below us.

Not surprisingly taking the top 5 spots are the Asian countries of:

Chinese Taipei - South Korea - Singapore - Hong Kong & Japan.


Hungary is a bit of a surprise at number 6 and I guess I'll have to stop with my joke about their schools being from hunger.

England coming in at number 7 is not a shocker although I would have liked to have beaten those blokes.

Another slight surprise is that the US is sandwiched between Russia above and Lithuania below.

Many countries just like small school districts have to include a diverse student class that is not as homogeneous as one might think. For example in my neighborhood many years ago I had the task of rating school districts for my kids and I found that a certain area had lower grades than I expected. I found that the poor scores were a direct result of many students being transient as their parents were in the military. These children, through no fault of their own were not scoring as high as they most likely would have given more stability in their lives.

Israel is further down the list than I expected but as noted above without a more detailed breakdown of their student class I make no assumptions.

The bottom six on the reported list includes no surprises as far as I am concerned. I will leave most of the editorializing to you but I will ask if you feel education of the masses, including women is high up on the list of importance in these countries:

Qatar - Saudi Arabia - Colombia - Egypt - Iran - Turkey.

Send Out Da Noise - Let's Lose Our Funk

America needs to get rid of it's funk. But it cannot do so while all this nonsensical chatter continues. It is hard for us to think with all the yelling going on.

We are stuck in a childish political name-calling fight that is taking our eye off the target.

But there always two sides to every story and the good new - bad news scenario of the current health care debate is no exception. Unfortunately the good news side is helping the same people who should not even be in the discussion.

Instead of getting down to work and getting our health care and health insurance system fixed or at least off life support our leaders are engaged in infighting the likes of which have not been seen since the last time the Republicans were not fully in control. (See the Clinton years.)

Let's get one thing straight America was conceived to be a country governed "OF - BY - AND FOR THE PEOPLE." Now corporations, while made up OF people are NOT people in and of themselves. They are entities that have taken on a life all their own and like other organisms they desire to thrive even at the expense of their surroundings. In that respect they are quite similar to parasites but worse.

Parasites have to make their living off the body to which they are beholding for life. They feed off that body and suck as much of the life out of it without killing it for that would actually be suicide.

Our corporations do not see that death as a limit. Killing the host is but a step forward in their evolution. They will stop at nothing to gain their holy grail; unlimited, unfettered profits.

These corporations and their lobbies are making tremendous noise these days. The noise must not be confused as grass root discontent but rather paid for advertisements against the citizens of this country.

If the men and women of our government finally stopped collecting bribes from the parasite community and came up with regulations setting up a health care system for everyone the result might be the lowering of profit margins at many current insurance companies and the saving of our nest eggs and our health.

Would big insurance go out of business?

Not unless they refused to give up a portion of their obscene profits and start competing in a fair and equitable way.


What exactly is the definition of insurance?

It has two definitions depending on which side you ask.
To normal humans it is a bet we make and pay for up front hoping never to win. But if we need to tap into the funds we have paid in advance in the event of a health care need or an accident we have the peace of mind knowing that the money is there for us.
To Big Insurance it is a bet that they accept knowing in their heart of hearts that they cannot lose since they are the foxes and you are the hens. They have the peace of mind knowing that no matter what ills befall you they and their team of lawyers can find a loophole you missed.


Would they be forced to lay off thousands of workers to compete?

Again, only if the CEOs of those companies decided that it was more important for themselves and their ten or twelve board members to continue making between $10,000,000 and $30,000,000 per year than to have 4,000 employees making $50,000 per year. (Hey guys, can you live on, say $2,000,000 per year?)


Would America go deeper into debt as a result of any plan?

Not necessarily. And individually we would all be better off immediately.


How is it possible that we as individuals would gain?

The average American is paying in the neighborhood of $25,000 per year for health insurance right now. They may not be paying directly from their wallet but it is being paid to the insurance companies by way of payroll deductions and lower salaries due to that cost factor. In other words whether you realize it or not you are paying!

If the Government were to offer an option - OPTION! - that made it possible to get out from under the thumb of a $25,000 per year bill but in doing so caused an increase in your taxes of $10,000 per year would you take it? Do fish swim?

The current health insurance way of doing business is to first deny and then perhaps give in if you are persistent. You also have to pay higher and higher deductibles on what they deem to be allowable. Your costs on drugs is and will continue to increase forever under their plan. There is also a limit on the amount you are allowed to even charge your insurance company within a given year. And make a mistake on a claim form and it's almost as though you committed genocide. And all these decisions are not being made on a personal basis by an informed doctor but by an accountant whose job it is to make the parasite more money!

A true Government regulated health insurance plan would not be run by the beaurocrats in DC but rather by a reputable company within guidelines set forth by our representatives without an eye toward obscene profits. Your costs would be far less than they are now and your health, not their well being would be job one.

The noise that is being heard around the halls of Congress may be coming from the mouths of our so-called leaders but they are only the speakers in a sound system plugged into the stereos of big insurance.

Run the Country Like Big Business Would

"The Proposal"

When a company falls on difficult times, one of the things that seems to happen is they reduce their staff and workers. The remaining workers must find ways to continue to do a good job or risk that their job would be eliminated as well..

Wall street, and the media normally congratulate the CEO for making this type of "tough decision", and his board of directors gives him a big bonus.

Our government should not be immune from similar risks.

Therefore:
Reduce the House of Representatives from the current 435 members to 218 members.
Reduce Senate members from 100 to 50 (one per State).
Then, reduce their staff by 25%.

Accomplish this over the next 8 years
(two steps/two elections) and of course this would require some redistricting.

Some Yearly Monetary Gains Include:

$44,108,400 for elimination of base pay for congress. (267 members X $165,200 pay/member/ yr.)

$97,175,000 for elimination of their staff. (estimate $1.3 Million in staff per each member of the House, and $3 Million in staff per each member of the Senate every year)

$240,294 for the reduction in remaining staff by 25%.

$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork barrel ear-marks each year. (Those members whose jobs are gone. Current estimates for total government pork earmarks are at $15 Billion/yr)

The remaining representatives would need to work smarter and improve efficiencies. It might even be in their best interests to work together for the good of our country!

Now there's a radical idea!

We may also expect that smaller committees might lead to a more efficient resolution of issues as well. It might even be easier to keep track of what your representative is doing.

Congress has more tools available to do their jobs than it had back in 1911 when the current number of representatives was established. (telephone, computers, cell phones to name a few)


Summary of opportunity:

$ 44,108,400 reduction of congress members.

$282,100, 000 for elimination of the reduced house member staff.

$150,000,000 for elimination of reduced senate member staff.

$59,675,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining house members.

$37,500,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining senate members.

$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork added to bills by the reduction of congress members.

$8,073,383,400 per year, estimated total savings. (that's 8-BILLION just to start!)

Big business does these types of cuts all the time.

If Congresspersons were required to serve 20, 25 or 30 years (like everyone else) in order to collect retirement benefits, tax payers could save a bundle.
But unfortunately now they get full retirement after serving only 1 term.

It's time we start treating these morons like they and their friends treat us - Sheep being led to the slaughter!

High Def Healthcare

Anyone who has gone from a standard television set to a new 'high definition' one will tell you there is nothing like it! You can almost see blades of grass growing. Well maybe not the actual growing process but if you look carefully you can see individual blades!

Looking at nature in this way is wonderful and enlightening. Some of our most amazing discoveries can be traced back to the ability to see even the tiniest of details. Go back and find an old book titled, "The Microbe Hunters" by Paul de Kruif. This book was first published in 1926 but has since been reprinted several times so you may still find a copy for yourself. (Or you could click the link provided and sit at the computer for days.)

The idea of looking at something more closely is not new nor should it ever get old. It is the most important part of understanding the knowledge the world around us offers.

However at some point we must use the knowledge gained by our minute examination to act on what we learn.

The current climate swirling around the health care reform debate in our country has been getting closer scrutiny than any issue I can remember in recent times. The anger it has unleashed on both sides of an argument that really should not have sides is amazing.

But if we put the issue under the microscope we can boil it down to fundamentals that would make the old masters of science and medicine proud.

I will not be able to list every point being made by every voice in the debate but I can say that a few truths do come to mind at the outset.

1. We all would like to be as healthy as possible for as long as possible.

2. We would all like to attain 'point #1' while we still have some money left to enjoy life.

3. Capitalism, American style is the way we do business in this country.

4. As long as we do not break the law we do not wish to allow others to decide how we live.

5. If someone infringes on our freedom or attempts to harm us we must stop them.

6. We have a terrible system of Government that just happens to be the best in the world at this time.

7. We expect certain services to be handled at the Government level in return for our taxes.

8. Some people will attempt to play the system in order to get ahead no matter who they harm.

9. Health care is WAY too expensive and getting worse!

Naturally there are many more lines one could add to the above list and most would be apropos however the longer the list the less people will read it to the end.

And that brings me to the final point. We are being afforded an unbelievable glimpse into the workings, or failures of our Government with the 24 hour news cycle and hundreds of choices on Cable networks. We cannot possibly hear, see or read everything that is thrown out for our consumption. NOR SHOULD WE!

Do we really need to see that blade of grass grow? Isn't it enough to know that we examined the soil and determined that we used the right fertilizer and that a few days later the lawn was more plush?

It is time for the U S Congress to do the right thing. We have seen the blemishes on the face of our health care system. We understand that the health insurance industry is not going softly into that good night and we are not asking them to do so.

What we are asking, no demanding is a system that offers us a choice in that most basic of rights, our health!

Many say that they do not want a bureaucrat in DC to decide how we get our health care or how much it should cost.

But they are looking at an old 'low def' TV.

Right now what we have is a 'bean counter' in Dubuque deciding whether a woman in Maine should be allowed to have the surgery she so desperately needs! And to make matters worse that bean counter gets a bigger bonus if he can deny health care and save the company money! The only other winner in this scenario is the lady's local mortuary.

We have options in everything we do and yet our country is still the best there is in the world. We choose paper or plastic; NBC or CBS; Honda or Ford; and unfortunately Republican or Democrat. Why not allow us to choose our health care insurers? Trust us to see the issues clearly enough to make the right choice!