Today's New Language

Our language has changed in recent times but we have yet to define in what way it has morphed. In order to give you some insight into that movement I offer a small guide to the subtleties of change.

We have:
Queen's English - QE
American English - AE
American Slang - AS - and now
Republican Speak - RS


QE: The Republicans wish to effect a compromise on the health care reform bill.

AE: Republicans are ready to negotiate a new health care bill to cover all Americans.

AS: Republicans wanna do da right thing.

RS: Do it our way and keep channeling money to our friends or forget the bill.

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QE: Nearly three quarters of Americans want a health care system similar to England's.

AE: According to polls over 65% of America wants a Public Option in health care.

AS: Don't wanna be sick go broke.

RS: Tremendous numbers of LEGAL citizens are 'tea-bagging' against socialized Obama-care.

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QE: The President must stop trying to fix the entire system and focus on important issues.

AE: The President should focus on the Economy and jobs first.

AS: Obama best be gettin unemployment down, yo.

RS: We can only take bribes from 1 or 2 lobbies at a time - Otherwise it gets too confusing.

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QE: The world needs some gentle stimulation to help it move forward.

AE: Tell Congress we must have a stimulus package that really helps the economy.

AS: Damn, we need that stimulus to help us down here.

RS: Stimulate this!

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QE: Rio will be hosting the 2016 Olympic games.

AE: Chicago tried valiantly to be the host of the 2016 Olympics but lost out to Rio.

AS: Olympic officials can't wait to get busy wif dem Brazilian chicks in 2016.

RS: Obama wasted time and money and lost the Olympics. HE LOST! FANTASTIC! HE'S SUCH A LOSER. WOO WOO.

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QE: I can see Global warming hurting the planet more and more each day.

AE: I can see science fighting a losing battle to stop Global Warming.

AS: I can't see no mo icebergs, where dey at?

RS: I can see Russia from my house, ya betcha!