Danger Will Robinson

Billions of years ago some elements combined with each other to form compounds.  These compounds somehow cooperated with each other to produce more of them.  This reproduction eventually led to organisms and life.

But in order for this newly formed life to thrive the individual parts had to somehow work together and create different functions.

As these simple organisms grew and replicated there were mutations.  If the mutation was weak and unfit for its surroundings it died off.  But if it was better adapted to its environment it thrived and multiplied.

Eventually simple single celled organisms found ways to work with others and evolved into multiple cell creatures.

Within each of these creature, these communities of cells there is an orderly separation of duties designed for the greater good.  When a cell breaks down or ceases to function as it should the organism sends out a signal to destroy that cell and thus continue a healthy life.

If we look at what the cells of the body have become we will see various individual shapes and sizes of organs all working together in a society of life.

As long as each community of cells, each area of the body works together for the greater good they all survive.

Evolution has taught these cells that greed is inappropriate within a healthy body.

Cancer cells are part of an organism that do not play by the rules.  They seem to forget that all cells have roles to play in a healthy organism.  They have figured out how to mask their intentions from the body’s police force and in many cases fool healthy cells into doing their bidding.

They wish to multiply themselves at the expense of other cells around them ultimately stopping other functions from working.

As a result they replicate at an ever increasing rate until they foolishly kill the host and with it themselves!

Unfortunately we have not yet been able to find cures for all the various forms of out of control cells known as cancer but we must keep trying.

However cancers are not only within a body, they exist everywhere.

If we consider Earth to be a living organism, not much of a stretch, then all the inhabitants thereon can be thought of as individual cells.

Our human society is in fact a living body.

We need to cooperate with each other in order to continue living on this planet of ours.

We cannot afford to kill the host.

We also cannot afford to greedily take more of the resources for our own individual good at the expense of others.

People or groups of people who insist on taking more than their fair share are a cancer on our society.

We use different terms for different groups of these anti-social cliques but make no mistake, they are each one a danger to life as we know it!

Terrorists such as the murdering throngs currently creating havoc in the Middle East are a cancer.

Super wealthy greedy individuals or groups trying to usurp power from the body for their own good are a cancer.

And leaders who look the other way when corporations pollute our planet thus endangering its welfare are a cancer.

Remember that we cannot survive without the Earth but the Earth surely can survive without us.  The body must find a way to work together to rid itself of these cancers just as it found a way to grow from those first elements into a population of 7 billion humans.

Because if we continue blindly as we have in the recent past the Earth will find a way to remove the offending cancer for good!

Can We Save America From Ourselves?

Sancho, I see an Impossible Dream!

America has always embraced the entrepreneur, the Don Quixote and his formidable windmill, the David ‘sling-shotting’ his Goliath. We cheer his or her efforts as they attempt to reach their impossible dream and conquer their mammoth goal. The underdog fighting ridiculous odds.  And to some extent we still do. But something has changed over the years.

No I don’t mean we now root for the dreamers to fail, although there are undoubtedly some who do but they are in the minority. And you may still be assured of a path being paved to your door when you perfect that new mousetrap.

What has changed is the attitude of the entrepreneur himself.

While the public is still in awe of success and everyone still loves a winner the winners no longer seem to care about their public.

Okay obviously any new business enterprise still needs customers to pay for that which they produce but believe it or not the customer isn’t the most important part of the equation anymore.

The Alice's Restaurant of Drugs

When America was young someone would open an apothecary and people would flock to purchase items they needed, or browse, or just to say hi. The store owner became a part of the community and living among his customers became family. When a family member was in trouble the brothers would chip in to help. The formula worked for all involved and success was measured not by the size of the bank account but by the number of lives touched and the friendships cultivated.

Of course no one was naïve enough to believe that profits didn’t matter or that that whole bottom line thingy was wasn’t important it just wasn’t that important!

But the corner drug store is nearly extinct replaced by the ubiquitous, faceless chain of a million links. The family doctor is as rare as a unanimous vote in Congress and business ethics well let’s just say they’ve gone the way of the American buffalo. And I wouldn’t give you a nickel for them.

But before we blame the business owner for blindly climbing up the wealth ladder of success we must look at the whole picture. The environment has made it necessary for him to step on former friends to do so. The financial landscape of this country has been reshaped, eroded if you will into one of huge peaks and tremendously deep valleys. And while some may think it was easy to see it coming it was nevertheless impossible to stop. Like a heavy freight train careening down the tracks at breakneck speed it would need time to slow down let alone change direction.

The moment of conception was when one business owner realized he could replace a trained, trusted and loyal worker with five eager new employees overseas and pocket some cash. He could train the new employees, communicate with them despite the time difference, and have 24/7 coverage while still saving money! Americans suffered but who the hell cared?

Soon he replaced another and another and before long the bulk of his work force was from Asia, his ethics from hunger and his profit margins from the pages of Fortune Magazine.

His strategy and success caused his competitors to take note and in order to keep pace they joined the Orient express.

It became a “lead, follow or get out of the way” situation and before anyone could say high unemployment ‘Made in China’ had taken over as the most common label in America.

Wall St. Investors know a good thing when they see one and they rewarded the newly non-American businesses with fists full of cash with which to continue their business practices.

And the more Americans they fired, I mean laid off, the better the investment community liked them. This was famously noted when the stock price of IBM soared after the company divested itself of over 5,000 workers. It soared again when they dumped another 5,000 Americans prompting many to conclude that if they got rid of everyone but the CEO the stock price would rise to infinity!

You might think that the government would put the brakes on this seemingly unpatriotic practice. But you also might be accused of not paying attention. No tariffs or punishments of any kind were meted out and the flow of foreign goods into the country was equaled only by the flow of cash flying out.

At that point no one could seriously blame the board of directors of any large corporation for following suit lest they lose their share of the business. Remember that lead-follow-fall into obscurity thingy rearing its ugly head again.

And as the internet became easier and speedier a seamless “flat Earth” spawned a new normal. Customer service calls were now routinely answered by people from India and another few thousand Americans went from bread winners to bread lines.

Overall wealth in America remained fairly constant but the distribution was lopsided and top heavy. CEOs were raking in cash and record profits. Investment brokers and hedge fund managers gave new meanings to the word obscene wealth as their income grew out of sight. What exactly did they do for society again?

And once again the government chose not to act instead rewarding the people who were killing the American Dream with huge tax gifts. Billions in profits were instead taxed at ridiculously low rates with loopholes rendering even those rates laughable.

The money being shoveled into the already overstocked coffers was now eagerly being spent not on new employees or benefits for the current ones but on lavish gifts for the same lawmakers who kept the playing field tilted in their direction. “K Street” supplanted Main Street as the most important address in the lives of the wealthy businessman.

Some may call that practice bribery but truthfully the wealthy were just the paying for services rendered.

Football can thank Vince Lombardi for the phrase, “winning isn’t the most important thing. It’s the only thing!” but multi-national corporations scored big using it as their mantra.

And when the small business owner or entrepreneur saw how the big boys were doing it they followed suit. Now when a business grows large enough the workers are asked to do more and more for less and less. They are told to be thankful to have a job. Unfortunately without a champion in DC they realize they realize they are swimming upstream and acquiesce.

But in the long run if you don’t pay your workers a living wage then you cannot expect them to purchase the items you produce. Even Henry Ford, anything but a workers’ advocate knew the value of a fair wage when he said (sic) “I pay my workers more so they can afford to buy my cars!”

So can things change?

Can the genie be coaxed back into the bottle?

Would you go back in if you were him?

The only way for this country to change its current path toward destruction is for Congress and the President to act and act as one. They must force the issue.

The two factions fighting are as usual on opposite sides but they must realize that if the American ship of state goes down they will go down with it.

“Cut spending.” “Raise revenue.” “No cut spending.” “No raise revenue.” “Drop Dead!” “No, you drop dead!”

The argument is ridiculous and disingenuous. Spending is out of control but taxes are outrageously low, especially on that top 2%. Wisdom, something that appears to be missing from all sides these days, must be used to find a solution. If we cut off funding for our elderly while continuing to bestow the lowest tax rates in history upon the wealthiest we will lose the game.

Some Middle Class Americans still want the wealthy to get wealthier in the hopes that when they will join their ranks they will enjoy the same freedom from taxes. They are, to put it politely delusional. They will never make it into the top 2% without winning a lottery because the game is rigged.

The rich and powerful no longer meet on golf courses. The new high profile hideout is Davos or some exclusive resort in the Pacific Northwest. And if you are reading this you need not apply for membership as admission is by invitation only and you ain’t invited!

So is the American Dream now an impossible one?

Am I tilting at windmills?

Perhaps!

But with the same spirit that pushed our first settlers to the pacific coast and 20^th century man to the moon I continue to sling shots at Goliath in the hopes others will join the fight and make our country great again.

In a way I am an entrepreneur. Except I have no employees, only partners, 300,000,000 of them!

Train Your Politician

When we are upset with a politician for not doing what we want we vote them out of office. Unfortunately that is often the wrong thing to do although at times it appears as though it is our only choice.

That has always been the preferred method and is known as 'working within the system.'  It is certainly better than a military coup as some other countries use.

But many times the alternative candidate is far worse.

There is a reason for the adages, ‘A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush’ or ‘Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.’

So what is the solution to our current problem?

How can we change Congress and the inactive, ineffective way our elected officials are performing?

Well we could go the screaming and yelling route, tossing out anyone 'in' to replace them with anyone 'not in.'

That Tea Party tactic turns Government topsy turvy.

Or we could use our voices in a saner, more rational and quiet way to get the job done.

We may not wish to hear this but politicians have two jobs.

One is to fight for legislation that helps the plight of their constituency and the other is to get enough money in their campaign funds to get re-elected.  For most that second job has become job one!  And for many that has become their only job!!

It is up to us to make them realize the error of their ways and get them back on track and working toward their original purpose; helping the people they represent.

We who sit back and expect our representatives in government to glean our needs by looking at polls or sticking their wetted fingers in the air to sense the wind’s direction are at fault.  We have to be proactive and let these men and women know our true feelings.

We can do this with letters and emails and phone calls and personal visits to their local offices.

But when we go this route we must be respectful of their position and not treat them like children.  We must not yell at them but rather calmly explain our thoughts.

Remember another adage that is also true, “You get more bees with honey than vinegar!”

Make believe America is a company and our congressmen and women work for us.  Isn't it better and more cost effective to tweak their skills rather than hire new workers and start from scratch?

And if our employees listen and do the right thing then we reward them with your vote!

How Dumb Can We Get?

For a while I felt as though the more I read the less I knew.
That was because when I delved into a subject and listened to all sides and then analyzed what I heard I made an informed decision.  But for a couple of years, and actually longer, it seemed as though every decision I made was wrong.
For example I learned everything I could about the proposed health care reform bill President Obama wanted to get into law and realized it was fairly good for the people of America.  When I say people I mean the average citizen; the person on the street; the voter regardless of political affiliation.
But then we went through a summer of "death panels" and "killing old people" talk coming from elected officials who should know better.
So I did what any intelligent creature should do in a situation like that, I went back to the facts.
Again it appeared as though the thing was good!  But Democrats saw the lies becoming a rallying cry among the Republicans and they gave in on far too many points to get the bill moving.
The above scenario happened again and again over the period of time that President Obama has been in office so I figured I better change my point of view.
Oh I am not going to be against health care reform or small business stimuli programs that for some reason Republicans, who once again should know better, are blocking.  But rather I am going to widen my search of the facts to find out why America is about to punish the Democratic Party for trying to help the average citizen.  Why do these people want to put the same people who started the economic collapse in the first place back into power!
It didn't take long to find out what was going on but it took a bit longer to understand why the simple facts were not stemming the tide.
The reason is simply Americans are not only dumbing down they are reveling in their abject ignorance.  The majority of Americans for lack of a better term are just plain stupid and seem to be proud of it!  Even Roger Ebert noticed this and took time from his movie schedule to post it on his blog!
I believe it started during the 2000 Presidential election when an 'almost majority' of people voted for a man with whom they wanted to have a beer.
Not exactly the criteria one would expect from a learned electorate.
You may also view the intelligence of the average American voter on the Pew Research page where the numbers are staggering.
But we would have survived the storm of stupid and stemmed the tide if not for the terrible events of 9-11.
The rallying cry throughout the land was one of solidarity with a tinge of revenge that allowed the evil and purposely misguided policies of Bush and his then lord and master Dick Cheney to move us into a war against the wrong country.
Well it was the wrong country for most of us but not for the millionaires who doubled, tripled, quadrupled and more their wealth as a result.
The sign signifying "Mission Accomplished" flying high behind President Bush on that commandeered aircraft carrier that we all felt was wrong was not!  We just didn't realize what the mission was at the time.
But finally 2008 came and a wave of "change" oriented feelings spread throughout the country.  The Republicans who had failed tremendously in holding onto record surpluses instead turning them into unprecedented deficits were kicked out of power.
But rather than 'change' their ways in light of their losses they instead immediately plotted their revenge and return to power.
That brings us to the day after the Barack Obama inauguration and just about every day since.
With the lone exception being the day that Obama agreed to allow more drilling for oil in the gulf and elsewhere the Republican Party and their benefactors have been doing anything they can to bring down his presidency.
Lobbyists in big business, big oil, Murdoch's Fox and his partner Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal who has been linked to terror organizations BY FOX NEWS have donated millions and millions of dollars to the Republican cause.
With all that affluence and influence behind them I'm surprised the Republicans haven't just taken over the government in a "Seven Days In May" type coup.
But now to the people of America.  The ones who have been searching for a beer drinking partner ever since Bush left office.
Along comes Sarah Palin, a charismatic woman who appears to be too dumb to even open a beer can.  And she along with her cohorts, a list way too long to reprint here, have taken the battle to the people.
Using catch phrases and one-liners and speaking in sound bites she has captured the small minded who don't have a clue about what's wrong with the country.
All these simple former hard working people know is the country is in trouble and the Democrats must be at fault, because simple Sarah says so!
I hate to stoop to the level of our evil opponents but if we are to get this country moving forward again we must stop the bleeding.  We must speak in a language the masses will understand.
President Obama is far too intelligent and passionate about his BIRTH COUNTRY of America to just give up.  So unfortunately he must dummy up!  Or rather DUMB UP so he can be understood.
For his next speech I propose he start off,
"Yo America, wassup?  I been you president fo 2 yeah now and I say it be time to start workin agin y'all.  So I'm gonna open my place up fo beer to each and all of yas. My woman & I wantcha to come ovah foh a beer or three.  Let's put some serious hurtin on this here unemployment thingy."
I apologize if the above offends anyone.  I know it's a bit awful and he has never spoken like that nor could he but sadly it would work.
Then again he'd probably get a cease and desist letter from the Republicans for stealing their stupidity.

Personification of Two-Faced

In a debate or even just a normal conversation we may use many different methods to get our points across.

We could use subtlety; "I'm a little tired right now, I'll wash the dishes later."

We could use sarcasm; "Don't pick up your clothes, I like stepping over them."

Or straightforward talk; "I want you to do the dishes and pick up your crap from the floor!"

Depending on the people involved each method has its place in society.

What shouldn't have a place in society is constant outright lying!  And more importantly it must never be rewarded once it is found out for what it really is!

Congress has deteriorated into a hall of roughly 40% lies.

The first truth is the Republicans are not in the majority for the moment and they don't like it!

In order to change the numbers they have resorted to a clever scheme of bait and switch except the product they are selling is a lie.

Here are a few examples of their latest absurd statements:

1 - Uncertainty is killing small businesses and they need clarity!

2 - They need to know what the government is doing about the deficit.

3 - Government spending is out of control.

4 - You cannot raise taxes in a recession.

5 - Extending unemployment insurance is welfare for the lazy; an incentive to stay home.

6 - Our military heroes and their families must be and taken care of!

Many of the above statements are nothing but rhetorical crap being spewed directly from the Republican talking points memo board.  They are used in response to actual legislation proposed every day by Democrats in Congress hoping to help the people of this country get back on their feet.  Points 1 through 6 and many more are given as reasons to block any and every bill that comes up for a vote in DC.

And since so many Americans get their news from the Fox channel which is a 24/7 propaganda arm of the Republican Party and the Tea Party Armey (not a typo) they have no idea how bad things will get if they vote out the Democrats.

Here is a group answer to the points noted above.  You may take whatever part of the following and match it up against the talking point of your choice.

The Bush tax cuts for the wealthy must be repealed.
This is not a tax increase but rather a wrong being righted!  It is a move back to the fair rate that was in effect before the war mongering team of Bush & Cheney gave the keys to the city, I mean nation to big business and big oil and Saudi Princes and on and on and on…

How can the same people who are using the deficit as fodder for their demands to curtail spending also want to give over one trillion dollars to the wealthy?

When confronted with that fact Republicans and Friends answer - you cannot raise taxes in a recession.

But the recision of the Bush tax cut does not raise taxes on anyone earning under $250K per year!  And on those lucky enough to earn over that amount it is a gradual increase and they know it full well!
And speaking of taxes how about changing the rules on that fake church all the crooks of Congress use for their not so secret liaisons?  The retreat known as C Street is labeled as a religious house so as to shield it from tax.  Start paying your fair share of taxes on that property!

You have to stop spending because government is too large is a great phrase but it does not even begin to tell the story.

The Republicans want to stop spending on the low and middle classes calling anything these people make entitlements.  But they will overwhelmingly vote to increase military spending especially when much of it goes into the pockets of their best friends.  Companies like Halliburton and their famous CIC (Crook in charge) reaped huge rewards in obtaining no bid contracts under the fiscally responsible friends of big oil and lobbies everywhere.
And speaking of entitlements millions of Americans are supposedly sitting on their asses doing nothing to help society.  They have no jobs and want handouts from the Federal Government.

This great campaign speech is as blatant a lie as just about everything else the so-called ‘right’ spews these days.

The same people who are out of work now due to the awful state of our economy worked for most of their adult lives pouring tax money into a system that if the Republicans had their way would ignore them!

And the same people who are benefiting from the Bush tax breaks and the bailouts and the Party of No’s stonewalling tactics are the ones who caused the economic crash with which we are now struggling.
But the best lie of the right was exposed this week by New York Representative Anthony Weiner when he passionately railed at the Republicans for their latest blockage of all things human by voting down aid to the sick and injured volunteers of 9-11.

They wanted to be able to tack on amendments to the bill knowing that they would pass on the coattails of the main item.  But when the Democrats refused to allow any pork to be added to the simple, direct, straightforward bill the Republicans balked.
The original bill was merely and simply aid to the 9-11 workers in need – DONE!

The Republicans basically said to those workers and heroes – DROP DEAD!

BUT BE SURE YOUR FAMILIES PAY THE UNDERTAKERS AND ALL THE OTHER BUSINESSES WHO WILL BE MAKING MONEY IN THE BURIALS!  WE WILL NEED THEIR BRIBE MONEY LATER!

The Republicans have followed this path of 'no' with one goal in mind, taking control of Congress.

Why do they want this so desperately?

Because they do not give a rats ass about the people of this country.  All they care about is power, the retention of power, and the money and influence that flows along with that power.

They say the Democrats did only bad things for the country in the two years of the Obama administration.

Like what?

Giving the poor a chance at health care?

Attempting to rein in Wall Street and the bankers who are already scheming to do it again?

Hasn’t the country seen enough of these phony bastards to understand where they are coming from?

Isn’t it clear that the wealthiest greediest among us are pulling the strings and the Party of No will do everything in their power to help them make more money while we wallow in despair?

If the Republicans take control in November this country may as well replace Old Glory with the corporate flag of the month.  December could be BP month followed by the NRA in January etc.  They’re already lining up!

The Republicans are as hypocritical a group of people as the world has ever seen.  (If you don't believe that Google Senator Grassley and find his speech about Death Panels for one.)  And how they can continue to pull the wool over the eyes of so many in this day and age of the internet and the 24/7 news cycle is beyond me.  In a way they must be commended for their staying power.

One can only hope that they are finally found out for what they truly are by the majority of voters before it's too late.

I hope for the day when some intelligent people not only pull back the curtain on these hypocrites but tear it off its rod and throw it away forever.

They want transparency?

Their evil methods ARE as transparent as they come.

Of Mice and Loopholes

In true "better mousetrap" mode the moment a rule; regulation; or law is passed those who may be adversely affected by it invent a plethora of loopholes to circumvent it.
Actually the above is slightly naive as teams of attorneys and accountants are hard at work weeks before any actionable bill is passed into law.
This group of highly specialized homogeneous heroes of the corporate woirld fire up the old W-O-P-R as soon as a proposal to change things is suggested in congress or even the media.  They secretly 'what if' every conceivable outcome until all bases are covered and they cannot be hurt.
Their next move is to come with talking points to nudge the rule toward the least troublesome outcome.  This is done while bemoaning even that one as though it would hurt them and thereby be good for society.
If Hollywood produced the above it might be enjoyable but this is no War Game.  This is real life and in real life real people are hurt by these faceless groups.  They make it necessary to come up with new laws and rules and regulations.
Loopholes, by definition exist to navigate around the law without getting caught!
The latest example of all this is our Financial Reform bill.
Our nation and the World is still struggling to get out from under the crisis caused by greedy unscrupulous and politically connected people who saw the middle class and the poor as tiny reservoirs of liquidity upon which to binge.
Millions lost their jobs and nest eggs and homes.  When the government finally stepped in it was too late.
Mortgage backed securities had to face the reality that their realty business was a sham.  This reservoir was finite and the drought had begun.
Banks and banking institutions were and still are failing.
To temporarily halt the free fall into the abyss our government pumped more dollars into the dried up well.
Disaster abated - New disaster begins.
Relieved banks and bank boards used bailouts for bonuses and balanced balance sheets by breaking out the bad  from them.  No new loans were to be given out because they had to know what new rules and regulations were going to be put in place (wink - wink.)
Moving at governmental break neck speed proposals were put forth to stop future financial failures that would have far reaching consequences.  But with all the 'no-strings attached' excess tax-payer cash and one political party hell bent on the other's failure the industry once again cranked up the lobbies and turned the W-O-P-R back on.  The loophole express was leaving the station - All Aboard!

How about a nice game of chess?

The final result of this latest in a long line of DC ballets came last week in the form of a 'reform' bill.  This one curiously excludes from scrutiny; regulation; or punishment so many businesses and industries as to render it totally ineffectual.
It has been said that one loophole can neuter a bill.  This one makes eunuchs of us all!
We finally built a better mousetrap unfortunately we needed to catch rats.

1 Judge is too Left & 1 is too Right But This 1 is Just - Center?

Which is worse, too much information or a lack of same?
In the first case much has been said about the TMI syndrome where the public knows way too much about something or someone.  For example do we really need to know how many men some celebrity has slept with?  (Notice I left off the gender of the celebrity.)
But the other side of the coin (the Not Enough To Go On - or NETGO) is the ignorance factor that supposedly breeds fear and contempt.
So I guess the answer is it's in between both and that's too bad.
You see it's quite hard to reach a Goldilocks level of security in everything we do, know, and say.  Even beds are made with varying degrees of softnesses from side to side lest you think married couples are completely compatible in all things.
The upcoming circus known as the confirmation hearings for a new Supreme Court Justice will show the fallacy between the TMI & NETGO camps.
On the one hand there are the Republicans who will argue that they know nothing (well that part seems true) about nominee Elena Kagan and therefore cannot confirm her.  But since she has survived as a scholarly woman and head of Harvard and appeared before the Supreme Court on many occasions they may find it also hard to deny her.  So I guess as usual the Republicans can neither confirm nor deny.
But if the candidate had a large tome of easy to find opinions he or she would face a tremendous scrutiny and cross examination more fitting the trial of a mass murderer.
So what should we do?
In politics which of the strange bedfellows will be juuuust right?
The truth is neither.
As long as we have this increasingly partisan attitude in DC that has stymied progress both camps are right AND wrong.
We need to know a little about Ms. Kagan to understand if she will be capable of making fair and unbiased opinions based solely on the law of the land as set forth in the current configuration of our Constitution.  In other words can she set aside her personal feelings and rule impartially?
Can anyone?
It's a tough question that cannot be answered until all the results are in, in say 30 or 40 years.
Perhaps we should just place her on the bench and come back then to see if we wish still to confirm her.
Of course at that point if we don't like her legacy we would have to overturn all of her decisions.  Lawyers might like that guaranty of lifetime work but I'm not sure about the rest of us.
And it seems to me and any other truthful individual that our Senators do not want an unbiased judge.  They are always looking for someone to appoint to this lifetime post that will rule the way they would like them to for years to come!
Looking back through the ages our Supreme Court has been fairly good but no side would give them 100%.  And that's fine.  That's as it should be.
Remember you cannot please nor fool all of the people all of the time but it can be fun trying.  (Or as a somewhat less than articulate person once said, "Fool me once uh, uh shame on you.  Fool me twice uh, well uh shame uh you can't fool me again.)
So here's a bit of advice as might have been offered by Kipling:
If you can work within the framework of the law stating your opinions as to how you arrived at your decision clearly for all to see and understand;
If you can listen with an unbiased ear to all sides of an argument without any preconceived notions or prejudices;
If you can allow that others may not agree with you and still work with them to come away with a fair compromise;
If you can risk the wrath and ridicule of both the public and the Sunday funnies yet still rule with sane thought and clear eye toward society
Then yours is the future my friend and you will be a true Supreme Court Justice worthy of the respect of the likes of John Jay.
And in conclusion, do you think Senator McCain had a touch of buyers remorse after finding out where his choice for VP sat on the TMI vs. NETGO scale?

Your Future has Derived

Job Opportunity

Title:                 Financial Genius

Experience:    Not much

Desire:             To make obscene amounts of money

Where:             Your home office or our place

Duties:             Invent next Wall St. gobbledygook derivative
When:             The sooner the better

Ethics:             Seriously?

If you have a great idea on how to transfer massive amounts of money from poor (at least they soon will be) individual investors into an account of your choosing and need a firm to cover your actions please contact us at…

The above memo did not actually go out, yet.  But that's only because the current financial environment for fraud is sadly toxic and under review.  However' current' has a way of becoming 'quaint' when seen from the future and in our 24 hour news cycle the future could be as soon as next week.

The memo is reminiscent of bumper sticker on the backs of some trucks on the road today.  The drivers who appear not to care about other vehicles on the highway display the following message with pride - “If you don’t like the way I drive please call 1-800-EAT SHIT.”

The wonderful people in the banking and investment industry seem to be licking their wounds but are actually raking in the profits.  And just like the boys from Enron who were nicknamed, "the smartest guys in the room" these bankers are incredibly shrewd.  Goldman Sachs is under investigation for, uh for, um, well we have no idea exactly what they were doing except we believe it was a fraud of some kind.  We’ll get back to you on that.

The alleged fraud (I use that term thanks to years of watching, ‘Law and Order’) centers around the practice of trading in ‘derivatives’ in order to basically gamble with other people’s money while not risking a penny of your own.

So just what is a derivative?

It shouldn’t be that hard to figure out, right?

The word has only ten letters and is derived (sorry about that) from the word derive so I deduce I could arrive at an easy to understand definition.

I deduce wrongly!

According to Webster’s a derivative is something that is derived from something else.  Don’t you just love dictionaries?  Aside from having to know how to spell something before you can look it up to see how to spell it many of the definitions therein derive their explanations from a different form of the original word in question!

But I digress.

In fact I remember something I learned last century in high school math that may make it easier to figure out derivatives.

One of the subjects I enjoyed in a nerd sort of way back then was trigonometry.  During that class I learned about sine and cosine and tangents.  These were the so called Trig derivatives and although they were not the simplest of ratios to understand a small amount of studying made their meanings clear.

In all fairness and to the best of my knowledge I have never used trig derivatives in my life since getting out of that class but there is still time, I hope.

And as amusing as it may be to realize that trigonometry is a study of the use of angles big financial gurus did not use it to game the system and scam billions of our dollars so we must keep looking.

Investing 101 tells us that the easiest derivative to understand is also one of the oldest on the books, options trading.  Simply put buying an option on a stock gives you the right to either buy or sell that stock at a set price some time in the future.  The value of the option is derived from the difference between that future price, known as the strike price and the current price of the stock.

For example, suppose the price of Company “A” is $100 per share and you feel the price is going to go up.  Now suppose you don’t wish to spend $100 to buy shares of “A.”  You could instead buy a ‘call’ option for as little as $1.  The price of the ‘call’ is derived from the price of the stock but is obviously much less costly.

If the stock goes from $100 to $110 within a month you would make far more money, percentage-wise than if you had bought the stock itself.  The downside is the stock does not go up and you lose your entire investment.  Then all you have is a capital loss and a tax 'write-off' to show for your efforts.

(As always past performance is not an indicator of future value and you should consult your broker or financial advisor professional for more details. Invest with your head, not over it.)

But just about everyone who invests in or follows Wall St. knows about the options market.  This means the riff-raff gets to play in the game with the big boys.  The big boys don’t like that so they created a derivative on the derivative.  And as soon as the public figured that one out the biggies went one step further.

And they kept going until they were so far off base they had no way of getting home.  Even some of these geniuses don't understand what the hell they are doing anymore and forget to cover their tracks.  And that's when they get in trouble.

If you think something is going to happen but you're not sure what then you hedge your bet.  On Wall St. ‘Hedge Funds’ are derived from that uncertainty.  Managers of those derivatives constantly move money around to build a fortune for themselves and their investors based solely on smoke and mirrors and the fears of the little guy.

Our desire to get ahead without actually earning it or producing a value to society is rampant in America and it has been fueled by the success of the nouveau riche billionaires on Wall Street.  Mention the term ‘Hedge Fund’ to most Americans and you may have to duck and cover.

A hedge fund can earn billions betting that you and your neighbors will lose your homes because you cannot cover your mortgages.  Sadly in some perverse way the manager may have caused the environment that created the downturn in the economy that made the bank call in your loan but hey, all’s fair in love, war and finance.

The fact is big time investors derive pleasure and fortune gambling in the public sector while keeping their machinations private.  And unless and until our Politicians stop protecting them and bailing them out and start regulating the industry this practice will flourish.

But until then:
 
Opportunity is knocking!
Will you be the one to answer the call? 
Do you have what it takes to make someone else’s dream yours? 
Do you think hedges have nothing to do with bushes but can still deliver the green; 
Can you dazzle with your footwork
AND Baffle with your bullshit
WITHOUT Batting an eyelash
OR Breaking a sweat?

Then you too can be a billionaire before breakfast. 
Just come up with the next legal-like scam. 
Learn the latest loophole. 
Let us show you how to fly under the radar in your underwear and you’ll never get caught with your pants down again.

(Not a member of FDIC or SIPC)