Ads Don't Always Add Up

Is anyone naive enough to believe that there is or ever was "Truth in Advertising?"

Alice in Wonderland
was fiction you know.

I mean seriously, if ads told the truth about their products the companies that produce the stuff would go the way of the dodo.

(That's an extinct bird that was driven out of existence due to forces beyond the comprehension of any true Republican out there called evolution.)

But since advertisements do still exist we must therefore conclude that they mostly lie!

How many of you have bought cars expecting to get a nice fuel efficient high MPG only to find out the only way to get it would be to have your car towed everywhere!

I could probably have my longest post of all time if I decided to list every product whose attributes are shall we say exaggerated but for the sake of forced brevity I hereby list only a few for your edification and amusement.

Let's start wit an annoying product that you almost have to know will not be as easy to put together as you are told in the ads.

I am speaking of those Easy Closets.  Their ads show average everyday families, some old some young talking about how great and easy the closet installation was.

Why not show what
really happens?

What they don’t show is the part between the designing and the implementation.

On the internet you let your fingers do the walking.  Then you complete the 'easy' project in your home.

Of course you should make sure your health care premiums have been paid and your loved ones know where the nearest ER is located.

Your first few task are getting the HEAVY materials up the stairs, opening the crates, running down to the basement to get the necessary tools to complete the EZ installation and then going back down to get the ones you will REALLY need to complete the installation. Face it the closets are generally for bedrooms which are generally on the second floor of homes.

And once you’ve removed all the items from the boxes you take out the instructions praying they are in English. And I mean understandable English, not the slightly racist rendition known as Chinglish.

Because face it folks America hardly produces anything anymore except billionaires who ship what jobs they can overseas and get paid to do so.  Isn't that right Willard Mitt?  (OR will he admit?)

Oh and by the way, don’t forget the extension cord for your electric drill or screw driver since not too many closets have outlets.

Let’s face it, the product may be the best thing since chocolate but it is certainly not as easy as rolling off a log. They should at least be forced to have a disclaimer as to that fact just like the one drug companies are forced to add.

Uh oh, anyone seen
the toilet paper?

And speaking of drug companies I equate what they leave out of the easy closet promo in their television ads with what is left out of Ex-Lax commercials. You have stomach cramps and take the product and then don’t have stomach cramps. So what transpired in between?

Please no turbulence!

Then there’s that unbelievably annoying moron who floats down the aisle of an airplane touting some fiber concoction specially formulated to help you relieve your insides of nasty bloating stuff? Yeah lady, just what I want to do on an enclosed speeding bullet in the clouds, run and use the coffin-sized vertical tomb known politely as the lavatory, which is invariably occupied when I need it most!

I feel lust-less, anyone
have some testosterone?

And that brings me to the next new ad that can drive you nuts, a drug that can help men who have that brand new made up disease or ailment known, by the marketers and now everyone, as Low T. I first assumed it was the opposite of that delightful afternoon snack so popular in England.

Low T, as the fake concerned voice-over tells us can cause a guy to feel listless or lust less or whatever and make him drag his butt around not wanting to do anything. I always thought a cheap over the counter cure for that was a cup of coffee but I guess I was wrong.

One side thought, if we were to have a program dedicated just to the disclaimers at the end of all drug commercials it would probably have to be a mini-series. Some of the ad contents are 20% talking about the drug and 80% disclaimer warning of its use. And these disclaimers include such inconsequential side effects such as loss of vision; abdominal pain; and death! Yeah, I sure want to take a drug to cure my Low T and put me in a Low 6’ hole!

British P - The gift that
keeps on giving!

And speaking of a deep hole we come to my last, for now favorite ad series on television, the one touting how wonderful BP is for cleaning up the God damned mess they created when their poorly regulated and negligently run oil rig exploded killing many humans, animals and futures.

And he wants HIS life back?
Justice? No jail time but a
bonus and a cushy job.

It’s nice that we have wonderful music and sun filled views of the idyllic gulf coast gracing the screen while a voice over tells of BPs commitment to making the area safe for all.

Has even one corporate person been sent to jail over the murders? Has BP truly paid their debt to society? Does anyone really think they ever will?

Okay I get it, we the people do not have the clout to come after you in court and you will escape scot free to continue raping and pillaging the Earth but do you really have to rub our noses in your glory?

He never knew what hit him!

They say what goes around comes around. Well I’d like to lock the entire board of BP into a newly finished ‘Easy Closet’ then feed them a year’s supply of that Low T drug and some ex-lax while spilling in barrels of refinery oil to see how they enjoy themselves. I have a feeling they might react the same way the former fish and wildlife did.

Today's Eclectic Compendium

These are the issues that are hitting my hot button today (sorry Ed.)

The business world and Republicans still blaming Obama administration for the uncertainty about rising health care costs.  They claim that is the reason for not hiring new workers.  But if anyone is to blame for raising rates and bilking the public shouldn’t it be the actual companies who are doing the dastardly deed?  Let’s face it the insurance industry is reaping record rewards by raping the consumer.  The Obama administration merely tried to stop them from their upward trend but had to do so without the help of the Republicans who branded his efforts as anti-American and claimed he just wanted to kill grandma!

It has finally been revealed that BP knew exactly what it was getting into when it used tainted and low quality cement on their oil rigs.  While it should come as no surprise that a company took shortcuts on their way to increase profits it should be noted that the “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead” attitude of this renegade corporation is actually the norm.  Many companies knowingly produce inferior products only removing them from the shelf after being caught or sued by those adversely affected.

In a side issue the plastic additive BPA has now been linked to a lower sperm count in males.

At this point I would suggest that any new company leave the initials BP out of their name.  Just saying…

Quick economics lesson for the mathematically challenged Tea Party members on Long Island and elsewhere, LIPA is seeking to have their taxes lowered as a way to reduce the rates they must charge customers for electricity.  That sounds great, right?  Who doesn’t wish to have their monthly bill lowered?

But the fact remains that the taxes paid by LIPA and other utilities goes to funding local town functions such as the schools and mundane other necessities of life.

So as a result of lowering the taxes on LIPA we may end up paying them a slightly lower monthly amount but will then pay a far greater amount in town and school tax.

The bottom line is it costs money to run a government be it local Statewide or National!
Merely shifting around the pain and pleasure does no good.  At the end of the day (I still hate that phrase) we the tax paying public are footing the bills and end up with less money in our pockets.

Tighten up all budgets, get rid of fluff, stop political patronage, and get all political houses in order.  There is quite enough money floating around to do so!

Staying on Long Island a local Republican, Fran Becker who is running for Congress against Carolyn McCarthy stated today that he is surging.  As far as the upcoming election the polls say otherwise so if he is surging it must be in a different way.
Therefore all I can say is hey Fran we’re not interested in your sex life.

A report came out about the wonderfully brave men and women who serve in our country's armed forces around the world.  It stated that most of these soldiers found nothing wrong with working alongside openly gay human beings.
The report also went on to say that the feelings did not carry over into the Semper Fi sect as many Marines told the pollsters that they would quit if gays were allowed to serve.
Way to go guys!  That's protecting the American way of life!  Who would want a gay or lesbian soldier protecting them and watching their back when the enemy was about to shoot them?  We'd all rather die, right?
Pathetic!  Pick up your medals as you leave guys!  America thanks you for your service.

In a story that can be good and bad and then good and then bad again according to the news dentists have come up with an interesting idea.  They intend to keep our children’s teeth healthy by limiting their candy intake.  They are offering to buy back any candy collected during Halloween at the rate of $1 per pound.  As a result kids will make money while keeping their teeth in good shape.  They will also not have that unhealthy surge of sugar the day after the spooky celebration.

So just what will happen to all that chocolate and gooey caramel?  The dentists plan on doing what American drug companies have been doing for years when they sent drugs the FDA could not approve to foreign countries.  They will be shipping the unwanted candy overseas.  But not to worry, no American children will be harmed in the ensuing cavity bonanza.

The Saudis are now advising the owners of that downtown Manhattan property to move their Mosque away from the 9-11 memorial area.  They say they do not wish to cause any more pain and suffering.  But they also add that the Mosque would be too close to the already established bars and strip clubs that pepper the area.  Is it just me or was that a slap at normal and money making American businesses?

And speaking of business as usual in Somalia two children were executed for being spies by the ruling class yesterday.  The 15 and 18 year olds were sentenced and then moments later shot by firing squad without a chance of appealing the obviously ridiculous ruling.  It seems that in that country the only requirements needed to be judge and executioner is one must be male and know the Quran.  Done!
What that country needs is a Sadie Hawkins Day where the women get to run things for 24 hours.  Hey guys - drop your pants and pray the women have bad aim!  Of course with targets as large as yours it's doubtful they will.

Hey folks, did you know that there was another tsunami?  This one was near the other one and devastated towns, businesses and lives as well.  But only 1,000 people were killed or missing so far and it didn’t happen on Christmas and we are going through a momentous election period so you may not have heard about it.  Oh, and I believe no Americans were killed during the event.

And finally it has been pointed out that many of the Tea Party candidates are running for office because they claim to hear the voice of the people!
Unfortunately all too many of them are actually only hearing voices!