Puppy Love?

How much do you love your dog?



Do you have feelings for your ferret?


Do you crave cockatiel?



Can't get enough cat?

Then take your relationship to the next level at Hymie's!

That's right, Hymie's! Now and for a limited time only you can bring your beloved pet to Hymie's Pet Chapel and vow your special love till death do you part!

Friends, for a small fee that amounts to nothing more than chicken feed you and your hen can romp through the gardens of bliss forever, or at least until the next family dinner. Mention this ad and say PETA to get a special discount and a 'pet appropriate' gift.

You say you're into goldfish?
No problem!
Hymie's offers a special service called the "Nuptials Under the Sea" (NUTS.) It's an underwater service that is sure to be admired and remembered by all, except most likely not by the goldfish.

So ladies, don't just take him for a walk down the street, walk him down the aisle at Hymie's!

Okay perhaps the above is a little over the top but I had to write it down based on a letter I read in Newsday penned by a truly frightened woman on Long Island. In it she simply states (and I do mean simply) that we should wake up and defend our marital institution against the inroads of same sex marriage. Failure to do so, she claims could forever open the door to other types of marriage. Really? Like what, Muskrat Love?


I am not sure whether to laugh or cry at this type of phobia but one must assume she has a point. After all her husband it seems may have married a pig!

(Another of Hymie's specialties.)