Mets Need Pray to Testacles (God of all Ball Sports)

(It's pronounced 'TEST ah klees')

In the beginning there were the Dodgers
And they were bums but the fans liked them
And Testacles knew it was good
And they played like bums almost always losing in the end
But still the fans came and it was good.
And then the Dodgers started to get better
And Testacles was pleased and it was all good
But then California beckoned and the Dodgers deserted
And O'Malley said it was good but it was not.
And the Giants followed and it was definitely not good
But into the void Testacles declared there would be a new team
And he made this team out of the ribs of other teams
They were cast offs, has beens, and never was-es
And the fans saw that they were bad but it was good
And lo they were so bad they did not win for fourteen games
And when finally they did win they won it all
And they were called the Amazins
And Testacles was pleased once again and it was good
But the fans became fickle and demanding
Suddenly it was bad and that was not good
And the Amazins stopped amazing anyone
And the fans said free Willie and fire him
And their impatience angered Testacles
So he hardened the hearts of management
And he blinded their eyes to common decency
And he caused them to sneak into the night to perform their deed
And so it came to pass that Willie was fired
But it was done badly and that was not good
And fans were not happy
And so they now pray to Testacles
"Please save our season and make it good."
And Testacles thought about it.
And he said, "I'll get back to you."
And that is all one can ask and that is good.

Sports and the Gambling Refs!!!

I know it will seem like a biased piece but so what, it's my blog and I'll rant if I want to, rant if I want to, rant if I want to. You would rant too if it happened to you! (Sorry Leslie.)

I watched two games this weekend, the Mets against Atlanta in baseball and the Rangers against the Devils in hockey. Both games featured calls that should, if it really mattered cause the ref or umpire who made the call to be barred for life from their respective game and even investigated for gambling and other crimes.

In the Mets game with bases loaded and nobody out the Mets were losing to the hated Atlanta Braves and thier cadre of "in the pocket" umpires by 3 runs. A short fly ball to center dropped in and two runs would score and a rally would be under way. But wait, this is Atlanta and everyone knows they are good so the umpire called the fly ball single an out and even a double play when one of the runners who saw the ball drop in was caught off base. A long argument ensued and when the corrupt umpire realized that the replay would show his ridiculously bought and paid for call as a clear as day bull shit call he reversed his decision. BUT he only allowed the Mets one run instead of the two that surely would have scored had he been a legitimate employee and not a gambling umpire and the rally was effectively over. The Mets lost the game failing to go ahead in the inning and the umpire collected his pay, secure in the knowledge that noone would ever find out he was in the pocket of the Braves.

In the hockey game that appeared to be important between the New York Rangers and the home New Jersey Devils the game was tied late in the third period. The Rangers needed a win in regulation time to go ahead of the Devils and get home ice advantage over, you guessed it, the Devils in the playoffs. A devil skater shot the puck from his ice out of the rink to avoid Rangers pressure with around 4 minutes left in the game. This is by rule a penalty and the Rangers would have a golden chance to win the game. However the 3 referees and umpires officiating the game chose not to call the obvious penalty against the home team and let the game continue. Seconds later a Ranger player was called for a penalty against the skater who got the puck that had left the ice area. In effect the Rangers were penalized for the infraction by the Devils.Will either of these obviously corrupt or in the very least inept refs be punished?

Do pigs fly?

There will be no action against these men and their bookies count on it.

Several years ago the New York Giants in football failed to get into the playoffs because a corrupt gambling ref mad a ridiculously obvious bad call. The Giant fans were audibly upset but to no avail as the hated "Americas Team" (Crock of shit) Dallas Cowboys enjoyed another playoff run and the New York Team went home to lick their wounds. It made the back page headlines but so what? It wasn't until several months after the season ended that a tiny article way back in the double digit pages of the paper announed that a football ref was indited for gambling that Giant fans realized they were scammed and the Dallas Cowboys had used their money wisely. Did anything change? Of course not.

When will professional sports realize their problem and get rid of these piece of shit phoneys?

Obviously never. The fans are the only ones who can make them change. Demand that refs and umps be vetted out and any obvious bullshit calls be investigated. If criminal charges should be brought do so and make the games that reap so much money as to be obscene at least be played on a level and fair playing field!

For anyone who likes their sports
Their friends and all their cohorts
We must all try to dump
A corrupt evil ump
They’re like pimples and real ugly warts.

Super Bowl XLII Head Games

There are 12 days until this year's Super Bowl as I write this and the papers are filled with the rumor that Tom Brady's foot is in a walking cast. There is even a video on the internet showing the QB limping outside of his girl friend Gisele Bundchen's apartment. Are we sure the limp was caused on the football field?
Nevertheless the possibility that he could be injured and not able to play up to his record breaking abilities is both a shame and a tempting thought to New York Giant and Miami Dolphin fans.
However before printing up the 18 & 1 signs and featuring Eli in the "I'm going to Disney ad" there is one very important point to remember. Football is filled with strategy and "psyche you out" mental games.
The Pats are obviously hoping that the Giants will prepare for the game with an eye toward a back-up QB and not work as hard because they think Brady will be a spectator. Then at game time Willis Reed, I mean Tom Brady will come running onto the field and do a head flip. The game will essentially be over and Bellichik will smile a quiet 'gotcha.'
If the Jints are smart, and contrary to many people's beliefs including mine they seem to be, then they should prepare hard and expect a Brady at 110%. Injuries are never quite as bad when the championship is on the line. And let's face it, even if he is a little banged up he has the entire Spring and half a Summer to enjoy recuperating.