This came to my email inbox from a group calling themselves The Pen
It is noted as satire and I repeat before you read it that it is indeed satire. But is sure is right on satire.
A lot of people may not know that Benedict Arnold, the
most infamous of colonial traitors, a prominent revolutionary war general who
endeavored to sell surrender of the fort at West Point for a price, published a
series of open letters to the "Inhabitants of America"
justifying himself. Here are some selected excerpts from
those letters.
From Letter 1: Don't believe a word you hear from all the
fake town criers. I've never talked to a loyalist or a Tory, not even one time,
even though my wife's father is one. These are all lies and more lies, told by
people who will say anything to win, disgusting and sad. Why, even now I am on
my way to West Point to assume command there, and we will have so many
brilliant victories you will get tired of winning.
And to demonstrate my transparency, I've released the
offer of collusion letters that were just about to be published anyway. But
they didn't give me any money up front, so it's all just a little bowl of cold
nothing porridge.
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