Can We Count on the Census?

I just got back from the 'Hempstead Works' office. This wonderful place is a center for unemployment and employment. The people who work there have the mission of finding people jobs while ensuring their insurance (unemployment that is) continues.

They set up meetings between employers and hopeful employees as well as promote job fairs and work with companies during their 'downsizing' procedures.

One of the all-day events they promoted was as on-site meeting with the U S Census Bureau. The Bureau needed many workers and set up March 10th as the date for all to come and apply for any openings.

Unfortunately the Bureau must have counted poorly because all of the available jobs seem to have been filled.
When were they filled you might ask.
They were filled over a month ago!

I guess they need a few more workers for the recount.

Shareholders' Revolt

I have been listening to both, no all the sides on the current economic adventure and one thing is becoming clear. Our government, to use a Charles Dickens term is a ass!

For example I have been hearing all the leaders and pundits say that the banks should be allowed to go under and take the shareholders with them. They claim that when someone buys a stock they must realize that they are taking a big risk and they could lose money. This is of course true but they are leaving one thing out of their ostrich-like argument. Most of the people who lost money in the stock market cannot afford to lose money. And to make matters worse with over 8% unemployment many of them have been laid off recently and no longer have worthwhile incomes they could use to make up the losses.

And to say that they should have known better is not only unfair but untrue. Now you may argue that an investor should check out the company whose stock he wishes to buy before actually plunking down his money for some shares but we are leaving one important thing out of the argument, the SEC.

That government agency is supposed to regulate public companies and make sure they are doing things legally. In other words they are supposed to find the Madoffs of the world and shut them down BEFORE they do their immense damage. They are supposed to figure out that mortgages are being given to total deadbeats or unfortunate people on welfare who cannot afford a house and then those mortgages are being sold and sold and sold until no one knows who owns what but all the intermediaries have made fake fortunes.

In other words the a-holes of the SEC are supposed to do the jobs for which we pay them so handsomely. BUT THEY DID NOT!

And since we the little investors, the backbone of the entire stock market system did not realize that our government was so inept we can not be held accountable for allowing our 401Ks and retirement funds to implode. We were kept in the dark!

BUT WHEN THE SELF SAME BASTARDS WHO RAN THE ECONOMY INTO THE GROUND NOW GET BAILED OUT AND THE LITTLE INVESTOR IS TOLD HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER WE ARE GETTING CLOSE TO A REVOLUTION!

If this were a different country there would be dismembered heads rolling in the streets. If the guillotine were still in use we would not be wondering if $800 billion dollars were enough to assuage the Ken Lewis' and Vikram Pandits of the world but rather into what size coffin should their headless bodies be placed.

But we are all lucky that this IS America and that those disgusting filthy pieces of greedy shit are allowed to live but do not blame the individual investors around the country who, believing in their government tried to do the right thing by investing in America!!!

Think twice before you allow any company that was brought down by immoral, greedy, and totally corrupt CEOs and board members to go bankrupt in this environment and hurt the little Main Streeters any further. Instead save the companies and the shareholders but place the true culprits behind bars.

Just like a murderer is not allowed to benefit in a book deal when writing about his crime the heads of those companies must not be allowed to take ONE PENNY away from the failed company let alone obscene bonuses in the millions.
And we should be allowed to go back two or three years in order to get enough money back from them in order to pay for the damages they caused.

I am not suggesting revolution. I am suggesting JUSTICE!

Sweepstakes Announcement

Colons R Us

Now that I have your attention the link above will take you to the CBS cares web site where you may enter a contest to win, wait for it, an all expense paid trip to NYC for a free, I SAID FREE - COLONOSCOPY!!! YAYYYY!

Okay so it's not a trip to Disney but think of it this way you can enter someone you really don't like and hope they win!

Now I love "60 Minutes" and my wife and I have watched it for years when convenient so I believe I can say without fear of successful contradiction that this is the first time they have ever offered a free colonoscopy on the show. I mean when they announced the contest frankly I was only half listening. I was actually waiting for the commercial to end and the next show to begin. And for completeness sake let me say that the actual procedure will not take place on the show, thank goodness.
Of course many critics might feel that the commentators on the show have, from time to time had their heads up their own butts. These critics would probably like to see Andy Rooney win the thing but it will be a lucky viewer nevertheless.

It is actually a wonderful thing and CBS should be commended for bringing awareness to a potentially life threatening disease and offering to pay for the screening of one lucky sweepstakes winner. I imagine they also throw in the necessary supplies one needs to prepare for the procedure and a quiet room in which to, uh get ready as it were.

Unfortunately the sweepstakes would not be so wonderful for me as I live so close to NYC. The flight would therefore not be necessary unless of course I took a US Air flight 1549 from La Guardia to the Hudson. Of course if I did take that flight I would not need that much preparation. Perhaps CBS could find a doctor in, say Hawaii who would be willing to perform the procedure? Then I would certainly enter!

BUTT the BOTTOM line (I couldn't resist) is anyone outside of the area should take part in the sweepstakes and if you are not lucky enough (?) to be the winner then schedule a colonoscopy on your own and when convenient. It's one or two days of discomfort that could save your life. And to paraphrase Smokey the Bear, "Only you can prevent Colon Cancer."

The Curious Case of a Suburban Dog Pauper

Inspired by the Oscars I thought about life here on Long Island:

I never really thought I would be incredibly wealthy but I had always hoped to end up at least comfortable.

I came from Queens (the county) and grew up in an apartment building complex. For the most part I did what I was told when I was young. I drank my milk and cleaned the table after meals. I did well in school following the rules and receiving many perfect attendance commendations. I graduated college in a reasonable amount of time and went looking for my reward in the time of Nixon’s Presidency.

Unfortunately my timing was off. You see I went to school to become an electrical engineer but so did thousands before me. And as I entered my senior year I found there was a frosty outlook for jobs in the field. It was a dark night as I wrestled with alternatives but I finally dropped my major opting instead for a regular BS degree. That stands for Bachelor of Science and not any other more obvious name.

With no apparent direction my parents directed me into textiles. Since my dad was in the field I figured I must have learned something about it through osmosis. Actually all I knew about the subject was it had something to do with fabrics. And at this point it was a job I wanted.

I immediately started to learn and realized that there were a number of beautiful young ladies in the field. I even dated one who worked at Cotton Incorporated for a short period of time. The world of fashion did have its perks!

While my career was now in textiles I was a voracious reader and what I really longed to be was to be a writer or even a stand-up comic. But my pressing desire and love of the written word was subjugated by an even more pressing desire and love, that of eating regular meals! So I stayed in the world of schmata or as we in the fashion end of the business like to call it Shma-Tey!

And after many years of hard work using unique skills only a handful of millions other than me possess I rose up to the post of President of the Home Fashion Products Association, a leading industry group. I held the position for nearly five years.

Those were good times but unfortunately they were the high points of the story as our economy has slipped and the once great dreams of many are now current nightmares.

We were one or two questions away from the grand prize when the buzzer rang and game ended. It was a nice ride but I just missed that brass ring. I wish to be young again and start over but I doubt that will happen.

I guess this suburban dog is still hoping for a crack at a Hollywood ending.

The Anti-Obamas

After the terrible and cowardly acts of 9-11 the country gathered behind the President and partisanship disappeared. Well it didn’t disappear as much as sublimate itself.

The main problem as it turned out was that the President and his close group of friends and co-conspirators ended up using that terrible disaster as a springboard for personal financial security. They turned around the country’s determination and desire for justice into the almost totalitarian leadership of the Bush Cheney team. And like naïve sheep we went along because no Presidential administration had ever been so self serving before and we as a nation could not believe this one would break that string or the law for that matter.

We were wrong.

The end result of those seven years is the economic meltdown that has America facing its worst financial calamity since the great depression. The effects of the failed policies of the Bush and Republican agenda are being felt by the millions of innocent Americans who wait each week for their unemployment checks to arrive. These people wonder how they will survive into their supposed golden years now that their retirement funds are all but gone.

A new President is now in charge and with him is a Democratic Congress committed to the cause. Together they are attempting to turn the economy around and change the direction this country is headed. They are seeking a brighter future for all. The programs they proposed and should soon implement may not be perfect but they are certainly better than what we have lived through so far. And they are better than doing nothing.

However the leaders of the Republican Party continue to push for their proven failed agenda and obstruct any real healing that could come from true bi-partisan cooperation. This was most evident by the rebuttal of the President’s speech to Congress by Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. In a time of crisis such as this just the thought of a rebuttal to a speech about healing and hope should be anathema. But the Republicans feel they are on the defensive and must therefore attack. It shows the fractured pig-headedness of the GOP as they continue to change that acronym into a new name the Grand Obstructionist Party.

This country is suffering from its second attack of the decade. The major difference this time is that the perpetrators personally walked away with millions in salaries and bonuses and received rewards for their attacks in the form of “Bailouts.” But make no mistake the failure of the banking system and the resultant recession are as damaging to this nation as any terrorist attack we have endured to date.

So where is the bi-partisan rally behind this President?

Where is the joining of hands to heal our nation?

Instead we see the brain trust of the Republican Party planning for their next assault on Congress and the White House. Rather than work to fix our problems they are positioning themselves with meetings such as CPAC (the Conservative Political Action Conference) to hone their message and find their next candidates in an effort to oust the Democrats from office.

The cover of the March 1^st issue of the New York Times Magazine shows Newt Gingrich in a wonderfully devilish pose nearly chomping at the bit and proud of his title as “The Anti-Obama.” He along with Mr. Jindal and Republican Minority Whip Eric Cantor look to their spiritual leader Rush Limbaugh and are thinking only of themselves and how to get back into power.

Mr. Limbaugh is now famous for his utterance of his desire to see President Obama fail. Isn’t that the same thing Osama Bin Laden wishes for? Perhaps the two should get together.

What this nation needs right now is for our leaders to stop their silly finger pointing and petty bickering. We need them to get back to basics. And for guidance they must not look back to the last administration or even the one before but rather all the way back to the beginnings of our country. As President Lincoln did when he gave his monumentally moving Gettysburg Address noting that our fathers brought forth this nation conceived in Liberty. He beseeched all involved to make sure this nation would be reborn and he reminded all that the government was of, by, and for the people.

The founding fathers’ words were beautiful but may need just a tiny tweak today. To wit:

We the people of the United States, in order to keep our almost perfectly formed Union, continue to seek and establish Justice, insure and ensure our domestic Tranquility, provide for the common Defense both here and abroad where and only when necessary, promote the general Welfare of all our citizens especially those in need, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, must continue to use and be guided by the ordained and established Constitution for the United States of America.

Use the Farce

The union of the Internet and PhotoShop is definitely a match made in heaven. Or should I say a universe far far away and long ago?

Some people say my rants are too long so this one is going to be short and sweet. And since a picture can be worth a thousand words I give you the spiritual leader of the Republican Party and his most recent subject.

Limba the Hutt:



PS - Check out how hot Michael Steele looks!
Thanks to Larry F for the photo

What Do You Call...

It is a fact that you can insult someone but do it in a way as to have it sound funny and then if you laugh about it actually get away with the insult!
It's called comedy. Don Rickles was a master doing it in a larger than life way and always laughing with you afterward.

You can also insult someone while you are making a comment about them as long as you make it sound like constructive criticism or even complement them after the insult.
It's called irony. Southern Belles are masters of this as they end their statement with a smiling, "Bless your heart" finish.

But lately cartoonist have become vicious imitators of themselves with hateful cartoons disguised as political commentary.
This is called low-life stupidity.

I will not give any more play to the current rash of examples in this category except to say the "Chimp" issue should be over and the "Watermelon" one should join it. I would further like to suggest that the two cartoonists and their publishers seek help. They have a rage that can only be assuaged by attempting to bring others down with them.

Freedom of speech is a wonderful right in America but even we have standards. For example you may set up a 'soap box' and preach your beliefs anywhere you like although most public venues require a permit. What you cannot do with your speech is preach hate.
This is called "Inciting to Riot."

The cartoons are doing just that and they are even more inane because they fail to realize that the President is not a man, it is an office! When elected to this highest office in the land he is called Mr. President for a reason. (The jury is still out on the female version for now but...)

This is the same mistake being made by the loyal opposition, aka the Republicans. They are so angry at having lost power that they are going after Mr. Reid and Ms. Pelosi and in many respects Mr. Obama although with his current high poll ratings they don't have a chance of winning that one.
That's unfortunately called politics as usual.

They have lost sight of their only job, getting this country back on its feet. And if that means working with the President and his party and sublimating their ambitions for a while then sobeit!
That's called governing and it is high time they understood this!
We as a nation have been insulted long enough. We are not living within a cartoon and that's called "no joke!"

NOW EAR THIS!

No it is not a typo but it is something you should hear nevertheless. Despite what you have been told earmarks are not necessarily a bad thing.

First of all what the heck are they? Well for one thing they have nothing to do with piercings that have closed. Earmarks are additions to a congressional bill placed by individual congressmen that attempt to direct money from that bill to a pet project of theirs.

For example if a senator has always wanted to build a coyote refuge in his state but cannot get the money to do so he could find a massive congressional bill that is very likely to pass into law and add or attach his relatively small request for funding.

Naturally Senators from other states will complain and go on television for a sound-bite or two about ‘pork’ and waste but the fact is they are ‘pots talking about kettles’ and are likely placing their own earmarks into other bills.

However many if not most of the earmarks will actually create jobs. The above noted fictitious coyote refuge would need people to man and run the place. The land to be used would have to be bought and that would send money into the private sector. And finally the refuge itself could become a destination for the ecologically conscious and eventually a turn into a revenue stream that would fund further projects.

This is not to say that some earmarks are not totally absurd. The infamous ‘bridge to nowhere’ comes to mind and it is up to our government and the media to keep projects such as that from slipping through unnoticed. President Obama promised to make his administration more transparent and that should aid all parties involved in the search for unsound earmarks.

So while one man's meat may be another man's potato don't forget that they are both nevertheless edible. And the next time your congressman cries 'pork' remind him that some consider it the other white meat.